Paresthesia
by angel eyes1 uk
Summary: End of Eclipse AU. When Victoria and Riley overpower Edward, Bella is reluctantly turned and brought back to Volterra. Living amongst those who have changed her beyond all recognition, who do you turn to when you lose your soul? Bella/Demetri/Riley. Slash
1. Chapter 1  Death

**Paresthesia**

**Originally written as WayBeyond**

**End of Eclipse AU. When Victoria and Riley overpower Edward, Bella is reluctantly turned and brought back to Volterra. Living amongst those who have changed her beyond all recognition, what happens when she can feel nothing about the hazy memory of her loss? Who do you turn to when you lose your soul? Bella/Riley. Some Demetri/Riley slash. **INTENDED TO BE DARK****

**CHAPTER ONE – DEATH**

**I do not own Twilight, and no copyright infringement intended.**

**Disclaimer: This is a very alternate universe. I'm not one for fluff and happy endings. In Eclipse when Victoria and Riley fought Edward, Edward had told Seth to go as a ruse; in this story, Seth really did go. The Volturi are also not standing idly by waiting for the battle in the clearing to end—they know exactly where Edward is, and know that Bella will likely be with him. **

**Note: Edward dies...if you can't handle that please do not read any further. This is a non-canon coupling.**

**Dark, adult content and male slash.**

**Thank you to JointGifts and Lharkcom for doing such a good beta job on this chapter.**

~X~

_Paresthesia is a sensation, usually felt on the skin, usually felt or described as numbness, tingling, pins and needles, or pricking. It is sometimes also known as the feeling of the arm, leg, or other body part "falling asleep."_

~X~

"I was selfish, I was hurtful. I tortured the ones I loved.

I was like Cathy, like Wuthering Heights, only my options were so much better than hers, neither one evil, neither one weak. And here I sat, crying about it, not doing anything productive to make it right. Just like Cathy."

(Bella Swan, _Eclipse_ p.459)

~X~

I had kissed Jacob, and I loved him. For some strange, unfathomable reason, Edward understood, and he was fine. I only wish I felt the same—I didn't understand what had just happened and _fine_ was probably the last word in the universe to describe how I felt.

Not only was there an emotional war raging inside me, but Seth alerted us to the fact that the newborns had reached the clearing where the rest of the Cullens and the wolf pack were defending me—yet again. I could add guilt to the list of my afflictions.

Cute, pup-like Seth whined, while Edward gave me a commentary on what was happening in the battle. It all seemed to be going pretty well, until Edward froze, and then proceeded to rip his way out of the tent.

"Go, Seth!" My _fiancé_ ordered the adolescent wolf to run away. Seth paused and whined once more, before complying.

My first thought was that something had gone horribly wrong in the clearing. A bubble of dread began forming in my stomach, and I was about to beg Edward to take me there so I could do something, no matter how insignificant, to help. Before I could open my mouth, Edward had whisked me up and deposited me with my back against the cliff face we had set up camp in front of, and then stood in a defensive position in front of me.

The danger wasn't in the clearing—it was here. But what? _Who?_

"Victoria," Edward said, as if he'd heard my thoughts. His voice was menacing and animalistic in his desperation to protect his mate—me. "She's not alone. She crossed my scent, following the newborns in to watch—she never meant to fight with them. She made a spur-of-the-moment decision to find me, guessing that you would be wherever I was. She was right. You were right. It was always Victoria."

A river of emotion flowed through me: relief that it was my red-haired nemesis, rather than the threatening and deadly Volturi. Victoria wanted to kill me, not Edward—she wanted him to live so that he could feel the pain that she'd felt after James's destruction. He would live, and that made me feel infinitely more positive. Seth, too, was safe. There would be two fewer pointless deaths on my conscience.

Two vampires slowly emerged from the dark forest, their movements tentative—like a cat stalking a mouse. Edward held me closer behind him, and I gladly pressed myself into his reassuring form.

Victoria's flaming hair caught my eye. Her mouth was pressed into a determined line and her eyes, black as death, flickered between Edward and myself. Her body was poised to strike, and her vicious expression filled with determined glee—no doubt at finally getting me in a vulnerable position. My heart thudded as I looked into the face of the woman who would likely kill me here today.

You did not have to be a mind reader or psychic to see her intentions. Her companion would engage Edward while she made a break for me.

I quickly assessed the boy who stood slightly in front of Victoria. He was tall and muscular, fair-haired, and had vivid red eyes. I could not bring myself to keep looking at him and I looked away nervously, focusing on the red-haired monster who stared at me.

I wondered how she planned to kill me, and came to the conclusion that she would have to make it quick to be able to get through Edward's defenses. That was some small consolation and infinitely better than the prospect of the eternal pain my fiancé would suffer after I was gone.

Victoria signalled to the boy, but before he could move, Edward spoke and stopped him in his tracks.

"Riley. She's lying to you, Riley. Listen to me. She's lying to you—just like she lied to the others who are dying now in the clearing. You know that she's lied to them, that she had _you_ lie to them, that neither of you were ever going to help them. Is it so hard to believe that she's lied to you, too?"

The boy, Riley, hesitated, but when Edward moved toward him, he shifted defensively.

"She doesn't love you, Riley. She never has. She loved someone named James, and you're no more than a tool to her."

Victoria roared at her former lover's name, and the intensity of her passion for vengeance scared me. Her companion's head whipped around and also registered her reaction. I allowed myself a brief glance at his face and thought I saw pain, but I did not look long enough to confirm it.

Edward spoke his name again and caught his attention.

"She knows that I will kill you, Riley. She wants you to die so that she doesn't have to keep up the pretense anymore. Yes—you've seen that, haven't you? You've read the reluctance in her eyes, suspected a false note in her promises. You were right. She's never wanted you. Every kiss, every touch was a lie."

As Edward continued to inch closer to him, I felt his distance from me growing. Victoria noticed it, too.

"You don't have to die. There are other ways to live than the way she's shown you. It's not all lies and blood, Riley. You can walk away right now. You don't have to die for her lies."

Riley began to circle, and I noticed Victoria holding herself back for the best possible opportunity to strike.

Edward tried one last time for a diplomatic solution. "Last chance, Riley."

The flame-haired female turned to the boy, who earned more of my sympathy with each syllable that passed Edward's lips; I trusted my lover to speak only the truth, plucked directly from Victoria's mind.

"He's the liar, Riley," Victoria finally reassured her young mate—he couldn't be much older than I was. "I told you about their mind tricks. You know I love only you."

Riley shifted, and then he set his jaw—a brief scan of his face told me that he trusted his mate, not Edward. There was nothing in his eyes but emotionless determination.

I, too, braced myself.

The movements were too quick for my eyes to see clearly, but there was a sudden orange blur as Victoria made a move toward me, and then Edward responded. The result was that Victoria went flying through the air until a snow-covered tree ended her flight.

Riley moved, and he and Edward became a dark, shapeless mass as they fought. I held back, feeling entirely helpless and waiting for my own inevitable death.

Death got to her feet and rushed towards me again, but a bluish shape disconnected from the battle to drag her into the combat.

I tried to keep track, but it hurt my eyes to even try, and so I waited for the outcome with my back to the wall.

Two against one—my hopes of Edward surviving slumped. But then an idea of how to be of some use sprang to mind. I dropped to the ground and scrambled around for a sharp rock.

The third wife. The only weapon I had was myself and the blood that ran through my veins. I rolled my sleeve up and gripped my crude dagger in my hand.

Slowly and purposefully, I dragged it along my fragile skin, to be rewarded with a dark red line that became a crimson ribbon down my arm and between my fingers.

The blurred vampire fight stopped abruptly and three pairs of eyes focused on me.

It had worked; I had caught their attention. And that's when I realized a crucial fact.

The third wife had bled herself to distract a vampire in order to protect her shape shifter husband. I was bleeding to distract the two vampires and help Edward, but my boyfriend was also a vampire. He hungered for human blood, though he survived on the blood of animals—but the irony was that, for him, my blood was the sweetest of all.

Edward was equally as caught by my act.

Victoria managed to snap out of her haze first, and her arms winding around Edward's head fired the two boys into action. Edward struggled, but Riley caught his arms behind him.

While the fight had previously been almost invisible to my eyes, now it seemed as if everything moved in slow motion. My jaw dropped open as I tried to cry out Edward's name, and at the same time, I saw Victoria's arms move—her teeth were bared and a low hiss escaped between them.

I rushed forward, but before my first foot could touch down, I saw a beautiful white orb drop slowly to the ground. As it touched the snow, I stopped in my tracks, and my body jerked as if Victoria had thrust her hand into my chest and twisted my heart in her fist.

"Edward," I whispered, as the two surviving vampires allowed the rest of his form to slump to the floor.

I meant to rush to him again, but Victoria had already reached inside her coat and casually dropped a lighter onto his body. The love of my life instantly burst into flames before my eyes. Part of me still wanted to join him so that I could end my own existence, but my feet suddenly became rooted to the spot.

A cruel smile twisted Victoria's lips. "That's not what I intended to do, but so long as one lover dies and the other lives, I have my vengeance." Her voice was clear and cold.

My tear-filled eyes snapped to her, but I didn't say anything. There was nothing that words could express, and even if I could find something to say, it was unlikely that a sentence could bypass the lump in my throat.

I began to understand what she meant. She'd intended Edward to mourn my loss, but instead, she would settle for the mourner being me.

Victoria approached. "The problem is that, because of your mortality, my victory will only be fleeting."

I took a step backward away from her, and then another, until my spine was against the cliff face once more. Suddenly, I valued mortality; without Edward, death and a consequent rebirth held no appeal. I wanted to die. Without knowing that Edward was somewhere in the world, there was nothing. There was less than nothing.

My eyes settled on the purple smoke curling up into the sky, and crushing pain consumed me.

Victoria was now inches away and smiled sweetly. The pain in my eyes and my posture told her how I felt without having to speak.

"The only way for you to truly know how I feel is to become a vampire." Victoria grabbed my bleeding arm roughly and held it up. She then stared at the silver crescent, now covered in streams of red, and traced the bite with her cold finger. "There is nothing but emptiness from this moment on—believe me."

"Victoria," Riley said, watching his lover's actions. "I thought you said..." A realization dawned in his eyes. "What he said was true." Riley's expression broke, and his voice trembled.

"You don't love me." It wasn't a question—it was a statement.

Victoria turned her gaze away from me for a second. "There will only ever be James." Then her attention returned to my arm, as she caressed the mark her true mate had left on me. Feline, hungry eyes met mine. "Feel my pain."

I pressed my eyelids together tightly as I felt razor-like teeth sink through my flesh in exactly the same place as my previous vampire bite. I heard a sudden rush, and then the teeth were yanked away painfully, taking a chunk of me with them.

I gasped and opened my eyes. Victoria was no longer standing in front of me. There were more blurred movements and when everything settled, Riley was on his knees, his arms outstretched and held by two vampires—one clad in black, the other in charcoal grey. I recognized them both—Alec and Demetri.

A quick look to the left and I saw a giant vampire holding a struggling Victoria by the neck, her feet kicking as they strained to reach the ground. Felix.

I could see a small, dark silhouette framed by the smoke from Edward's pyre. Before she turned around and removed her hood, I knew who it was. Large, red, child-like eyes bored into mine.

"Still human, I see." Jane's gaze dropped to my gushing arm. "Though not for much longer. What a shame—Caius was spoiling for an excuse to visit."

Suddenly a wall of pain hit me and I dropped to the ground. It took a moment to register that it was not Jane, but the bloody wound on my limb that was the source. I screamed in agony and cradled my arm to my chest.

My screams were soon joined by Victoria's, and I was vaguely aware of another body joining my love's embers, the flames springing up anew.

The small black shape approached and I heard Jane's uninterested voice above me. "Alec, please deal with this. I can't listen to _that _all the way home."

Despite the agony, I focused on the teenage boy. I wondered whether his instruction was to end me or just to help me suffer in silence. I waited, yet he made no move toward me and nothing happened.

Jane then turned her attention to Riley, who struggled as she got closer. "So, what do we do with you?"

Her arms lifted towards his face, but a voice stopped her before she could make contact.

"Jane, don't you think it would be a waste to destroy something so...aesthetically pleasing?" His voice was deep and melodic, with a British accent.

I wondered how Jane would react, and I did not have to wait long for an answer.

"You want to keep him?"

A smirk crept its way across Demetri's face. "Definitely." Riley stopped resisting, and our gaze briefly connected—his confused, mine foggy through my pain.

Although the situation had been different, Riley had also lost the one he loved today and watched her execution. It seemed that he was equally at the mercy of the Volturi, and I suspected we were both on our way to Italy. As my sympathy grew for him, something within me pushed outward in his direction and grew, as if an unknown force coming from myself was trying to protect him.

"Fine. Alec—"

I did not hear anything more, as a sudden rolling blackness consumed me and I drifted into nothingness, with nothing but my own thoughts to keep me company. In the dark, I felt no physical pain—no burn of venom in my veins; however, I was now at leisure to wail and lament Edward's loss, and so I did.


	2. Chapter 2 Rebirth

**CHAPTER TWO - REBIRTH**

**I do not own Twilight, and no copyright infringement intended.**

**Thanks to Dinx and Nowforruin for looking over this for me. Nowforruin—I've missed you so much! :x**

**Limey insinuated slash and carnivorous vampires ahead.**

~X~

Death wasn't so bad, I thought, compared to the burning hell I'd felt in the moments before everything had gone black. The nothingness was quiet, almost peaceful—if it were not for my own mental self-flagellation over my part in Edward's death.

As time stretched on, and with nothing to occupy me other than my own thoughts and memories, I realized how alone I was. In an attempt at company, I remembered those I loved. It only caused me more pain.

Maybe this was my hell? Would my loved ones join me eventually, or was I condemned to _this_ for the rest of time?

I wondered what would happen to Charlie now that I was gone, and how frantic my mother would be when she heard the news.

I thought of Alice and the rest of the Cullens. Would Alice have seen what had happened? Had they won the battle in the clearing? Would they know how Edward and I had died?

I then began another guilt cycle over my fatal decision to re-enact the third wife. I really needed to stop reading so much into stories—not that I would ever read another book. Part of me was pleased that I had read my favorites so many times that I could almost recite them line by line. That might come to be useful here in limbo.

Now that I was free of the confines of life, my mind seemed so much clearer—like a blind man whose hearing was so much more sensitive as he began to rely on the sense he could still use. My thoughts were all I had.

I couldn't feel Victoria's venom in my veins any longer, but the emotional pain she had caused still burned brightly. And now she was dead, too.

Part of me argued that I should have insisted on staying with the others in the clearing. Another side of me argued that the Volturi would only have descended on us there and more lives would have been lost. I felt like the situation had been checkmate from the very beginning.

It ripped my soul apart as I continued to remember my love for Edward. My first sight of him, biology, the meadow, his proposal, saying goodbye after the disastrous party Alice had thrown for my eighteenth, our reunion in Italy, and settling back into life in Forks. Now he only existed inside my mind, and I promised myself that no matter how long I was here, I would remember.

I thought about Jacob, too, and I was glad that I'd had the chance to tell him that I loved him before he had left. At least he could get some closure now that I was gone, and find a girl whose heart could be his completely, rather than living off the scraps I could throw at him.

And then something shifted. I began to feel less connected to the memories of my short life, and started to feel like I was home. I felt comfortable, and like this was the right place for me to be.

My pain, too, began to numb—until I could remember Edward's face with nothing more than a prickle in my metaphorical heart. All memories of my human life seemed suddenly obscured by a thin, grey veil. Even when I replayed the scene with Victoria, Riley, Edward, and the Volturi, there was nothing—where only what seemed like hours before it had been emotional agony.

Maybe the acute nothingness was consuming me, and I wondered what would happen next. Was a simple bite enough to condemn my soul?

Caring less about the characters that had played their parts in my human life, I began philosophising on the state of my soul. I had come to the conclusion that this was definitely purgatory, when the darkness began to clear.

There were voices that at first sounded like they were coming from a distance, but which grew steadily closer as a circle of light appeared and got larger.

"Bella," the disembodied voice called. I blinked, once and then twice.

My vision cleared and I found myself lying on a plush, soft bed. The light that had been bright at first came from a bedside lamp, and I marvelled for a second at the prism of light it cast about the room.

"Bella, welcome to your new life." The voice was familiar, and my eyes snapped to the source.

Aro was sitting only inches away from me on the edge of the bed. I panicked, and my sudden jolt of shock became a leap unbidden. I found myself in the corner of a marble room filled with ornate and ancient looking dark furniture. It felt warm and comfortable, almost as if I'd lived here all of my life.

Ten pairs of eyes followed my movements apprehensively. Aro's were smiling and welcoming, as were the red eyes of two strange female vampires, both of whom appeared to be a similar age to myself. Jane and Alec were less friendly.

The searing burn from the mountain side had concentrated itself in my throat and I struggled to breathe in and out. As I tried, I tasted many unfamiliar scents on the air. I was acutely aware of _everything_.

"I can imagine you are a little disorientated after 'waking up' for the first time in unfamiliar surroundings. There is no need to be on edge. Heidi will be here presently to provide you with something to alleviate the thirst—you feel it rather urgently, no doubt."

My eyes flickered around. I felt slightly apprehensive, but not as much as I should have, given that I was obviously in Volterra. It all felt strangely homey. The two strange girls, whose names I didn't know, seemed intently focused in my direction, and a rush of self-consciousness rushed over me.

"Am I..." I began before I answered my own question—I knew exactly what I had become. "But why didn't I feel the pain? It all went black." My voice sounded choked and forced, but surprisingly musical.

Alec's face became exceptionally smug.

Aro stood up and approached me slowly; Jane's face looked slightly panicked as he closed the gap between us.

"We have moved on from the days when we allowed new arrivals into our world to suffer for three days. I think you'll agree that a little darkness makes the transition so much easier." His smile grew wider. I examined my feelings toward him and analyzed how different they were from the last time we had met. Now that I was a vampire, the skin creeping sensation in his presence had disappeared.

I was in a room with some individuals that had intimidated me previously. Now it was as if there was some kind of bond between us; they felt like...family.

_Family_. The word sent my mind back to Charlie, Renee and the Cullens. The mental journey inevitably also led me to Edward and Jacob. Instead of pain, a cold prickle began in my chest cavity—I felt nothing else.

"Isabella," Aro said softly, "we apologize that we were too late to prevent Edward's unfortunate demise." The prickling sensation grew stronger. "We would have loved to have both of you united here in Volterra, but the nomad female managed to evade us. Now that you are here, you are welcome to remain. I hope you do not mind, but I took the liberty of reading your thoughts while you slept in preparation for your awakening. A period of time with the Guard might be useful—you are a newborn vampire and we are more than happy to help you adjust to your new life. Does this sound acceptable?"

I mulled over his offer for a short while, and how it was that he could read me; i nervously eyed Jane wondering whether I had lost my resistance to her power, too. Looking into Aro's milky red eyes, I felt a connection—as if I'd found myself a surrogate father. I nodded my acceptance, unsure of how words would be able to bypass the intense flames consuming my windpipe. Jane looked at myself and her master uncomfortably.

"It is settled then. This room will be yours—you are free to go about the palace as you wish, but until you are more comfortable around humans, I'm afraid the surface will be out of bounds. Chelsea here will show you around after you have had some sustenance. If she is not around, then Raveena will be on hand to assist you." He motioned toward a girl with brown skin and long black hair in a braid. Her dark sari told me that she was originally of Asian descent. Raveena's mouth lifted but the rest of her remained motionless—her eyes, still trained on me, were without expression.

"Once you have had a little time to adjust, I will arrange your education. Demetri and Felix will teach you how to defend yourself; Jane and Alec will help you to develop your talent, and I believe Demetri's new friend has some experience with newborns—it might be a good idea for him to earn his keep."

Jane smirked at this. "He may be a little busy in the short-term, Master."

"Indeed." Aro smiled at his favorite member of the Guard, and then turned back to me. "I bid you adieu, Bella. I think I can hear Heidi approaching, and I am sure that you will not want an audience." He left the room, Jane and Alec following close behind.

The tall blonde girl, who I assumed was Chelsea, smiled. "_Bon appétit_—give me a yell when you're done. We will be waiting for you outside. You have an en-suite bathroom through that door." She pointed to a heavy, dark wooden door in the corner of my room. "We all need a little cleaning up after the first time." She glided out of the room, with the dark girl, Raveena, following.

I wondered what talent it was that Aro seemed to think I had. Certainly, I had lost the shield around my brain that had kept me safe during my previous visit to Volterra. Confused by all the new sensations my vampire brain was processing, I was vaguely aware of an invisible yet circle around me in all directions.

It was then that I detected the slightest hint of something wonderful on the air and I was instantly distracted. Every fiber of my being called for me to run to the source, but unsure of what it was, I cowered.

When Heidi arrived, she pushed a wide-eyed human through the door, quickly closing the door behind her. I cowered no more.

~x~x~x~

Fifteen minutes later I was in the shower, trying to come to terms with what I had just done.

It wasn't that I'd brutally killed someone and drank their blood, nor that I'd found myself so desperate for the precious fluid that I'd licked up all the spillage. It was that I'd felt nothing but intense pins and needles in my chest. No remorse and no regret. It was the coldness that stunned me most.

I'd always imagined myself as a vegetarian vampire like the Cullens. Of course, I had worried about the newborn bloodlust, but I'd never doubted that my golden-eyed family would have kept me on the straight and narrow. There were no golden-eyed vampires here in Italy. The fact that I'd just fed on a human should have bothered me, but it didn't—I was already more than ready for Heidi to throw another victim my way.

Once my cleansing was finished, I returned to my bedroom to find that someone had left a pile of clothing on my bed. There was white underwear in exactly my size, as well as various skirts, pants, jackets, shirts and knitwear—they looked expensive, and although I didn't understand the European sizing, they looked just about right. Other than the underwear, everything was in the same shade of grey.

I chose a pair of slacks and a blouse, and once dressed, I ventured a look in a mirror I'd found in the corner of the room. Once I'd gotten past being able to see the subtle imperfections in the glass, I stared at myself. My skin was almost white and perfectly smooth, my mahogany hair was falling around my face like silk drapes, and brilliant red eyes burned back at me. I inspected my features and tried to determine what exactly had changed—I looked...kind of beautiful.

That thought brought back an image of Jacob, and the cold prickle in my chest sparked up again. I went back to my assessment of my vampire self.

With my outfit, I looked sophisticated. Alice would be proud of me—although she might not be so keen on the monochrome.

I grabbed a grey jacket and put it on as I left the room. The burning was already beginning to flare up again, and I felt jittery and irritable. Maybe I would luck out and the tour would include some kind of Volturi cafeteria.

Chelsea and Raveena were waiting for me outside, and as I stepped through the door, Chelsea smiled. I became suddenly aware of both of their presences, as if I could sense electricity running around their bodies. A sudden wash of familiarity flowed over me.

"I hope you like them. Aro told me your size and I went a little crazy with the retail therapy. You'll probably ruin most of them within your first few months, so if they're not your thing, you can do some shopping online or something. Just no going outside for a while—we wouldn't want a massacre in the ladies department!" Chelsea giggled but Raveena remained impassive—one side of my mouth lifted a little.

"They're fine," I said, and the sound of my own voice distracted me. Instead of my usual low, mumbling tone, it sounded clear and louder than I expected. When the blonde stepped toward me and linked her arm through mine, I was snapped out of my distraction.

"Right, let's get the tour out of the way. I'm sure you'll be feeling thirsty again, so we'll get it done as soon as possible. Heidi will be back at nightfall with another walking buffet for you. I'll do my best to keep your mind on other things until then."

I tried to smile despite my dismay that I'd have to wait that long. There was that sudden sense of familiarity again. I got the feeling Chelsea and I were going to be great friends, and Raveena, too—though she had yet to speak.

"I'm Chelsea, as I'm sure you already know, and this is Raveena. I'm used to introducing newborns to Volturi life, but Raveena isn't, so you'll have to excuse her. She's not too talkative," Chelsea whispered as if Raveena wouldn't be able to hear, but the Indian girl had fallen into line between Chelsea and I. Chelsea's gaze followed my own.

"Oh, don't worry. Nothing bothers Raveena...besides, she and I go way back. Around eighteen hundred years back, to be precise."

My eyes almost popped out of my head.

"Yeah, I know. I don't look it, do I? I've always been quite fashionable and tried to stay modern. Unlike some around here who are still in the Dark Ages. By the way, is it Bella or Isabella? I've heard you called both."

"Bella. I answer to Bella."

I looked up at my companion. She towered above me, and her dark blonde hair was twisted into a stylish up-do. She reminded me of Rosalie, with Alice's personality, and I smiled.

Raveena, who was following behind us, was around the same height as me, and watched the exchange without comment.

"Raveena here spends most of her time with Marcus, as it's her job to look after him. I tend to spend most of my time here around the palace in case any potentials arrive—we don't often get to go out on missions. It will be so nice to have someone to gossip with, as Raveena really isn't interested in that kind of thing. My husband, Afton, he's got such an amazing power, and spends a lot of time away on missions. Generally the more mundane ones—nothing that the top ranks would lower themselves to do."

We turned a corner and Chelsea pointed out a library and a communal room that was for the use of members of the Guard on our level.

"I hope your talent turns out to be something that means you will spend more time here than abroad. With Afton gone, I get so lonely at times. Crazy, I know, living here with so many others."

"My talent?" I asked confused.

"Can you not feel it, yet? I can tell when I'm in and out of your circle, although Raveena can't. It doesn't seem to work on her."

I tested the electricity and it felt like a crackling globe emanating out and ending about five feet away from me.

"I can feel it...but what is it?"

Chelsea smiled. "You're a shield. Outside the circle, you seem to be able to repel some of our powers, but step inside and _e voile_, we can do our thing."

"A shield?" That would explain a lot—how Edward and Aro were unable to read my mind, and why Jane had been unable to cause me pain. Part of me wished it was still centered on just my brain, as I knew that if Jane got inside, I would hurt—badly.

Raveena got closer, and I felt it as she passed through the skin of the invisible electric skin of my shield.

"It's okay—don't be alarmed. It will be a little strange to start with but we'll teach you how to use your power." Chelsea smiled and linked her arm through mine again. The smile was infectious and we continued.

"Aro is very excited to see what you can do. That's why you've been put on the same level as Raveena and I straightaway."

Chelsea then paused at the beginning of a long, marble corridor that looked much like any other. I smelled familiar scents.

"That leads to Aro, Caius and Marcus' quarters. You and I will rarely get to go down there, unless we're looking for Raveena. It's generally best to wait until she gets a little time off from babysitting Marcus, and she'll come looking for you. Besides, you have to go past Jane and Alec's suites to get anywhere near the big three, and trust me, you do not want to be trespassing on their turf!"

I managed a small, humorless laugh before we moved swiftly along.

We came across another similar looking, but slightly less ornate, corridor. Again, there were familiar scents, and in the distance I could hear rustling and grunting.

"This is where the next tier of the Guard lives. You won't be doing any socializing here, but we'll occasionally get called here if they want us to go on an errand. Felix, Heidi, and Demetri all stay here. Your friend has been given a room adjoining Demetri's, too."

"My friend?"

"Oh, the boy who came in at the same time—Riley. As you can hear, he's pretty occupied at the moment. Demetri is like a child with a new toy when he picks up someone new. It sounds like Riley is going to be involved in your education, anyway. I can imagine it will be in one of the more communal areas though. He's pretty lucky to be bunched with our tier, not having a talent at all—he's here purely to entertain Demetri."

I stared down the corridor and listened to the animalistic noises, finally realising what it was I was hearing. Riley obviously hadn't taken long to get over Victoria.

Chelsea and Raveena accompanied me around the rest of the labyrinth that was the Volturi headquarters. There were combat training rooms, and various other halls used for testing out powers. Apparently, it was the lower tier's responsibility to find their own food, but while I was a newborn, Heidi would add me to her rounds until it was safe for me to fend for myself outside of Volterra.

Eventually, I was lead back to the communal room for those of my rank and the three of us sat around talking—although it was Chelsea that was by far the most vocal.

I began to fidget, and the burning in my throat became more uncomfortable as I wondered how long it would be until dark. There were no windows in the common room to give me any indication.

Eventually, two well-built, fair-haired men joined us. The vampire I recognized as Riley hung slightly behind, and Demetri spoke. "Bella, Heidi will bring a human to your room presently. I suggest you await your next feed there. Raveena, Marcus is missing you."

Eagerly I got to my feet, ready to head back my room.

"Wait for me, Bella." I froze as Chelsea got to her feet. "I had best come with you. My room is next door, should you need anything."

Out the corner of my eye, I saw Demetri move toward Riley and press him against the wall as they kissed. I had never seen two men together before. Looking on curiously as Demetri's hand made a rough trail down Riley's chest and stomach, my own body began to hum with electricity as I tried to tear my eyes away.

With a smile, Chelsea shuffled me outside, also glancing in their direction as we exited the room.

"Yes, pretty viewing, isn't it? Riley will probably have to socialize with our rank. What is he like? I've not really had the chance to find out anything about him, as he's always attached to Demetri."

As we walked back to my room, I thought a little before replying. Remembering that afternoon on the mountain, I impartially tried to recall everything I could about Victoria's former lover, and the boy who had helped destroy Edward.

I felt nothing except the prickle in my chest, and I turned to find Raveena following us, a few yards outside of my shield.

"I wouldn't know. I only met him once," I said matter-of-factly, more interested in relieving the burning in my throat. "I didn't even know he was gay. He had a girlfriend when I met him."

Chelsea winked. "Oh, you'd be surprised. We all have a little of it in us to one extent or another—trust me, I should know. Lust is the easiest bond to manipulate. I only need the slightest inkling to work with."

"Hmmm," I murmured, wrinkling my brow. I had nothing else to say.


	3. Chapter 3 Coming Out

**CHAPTER THREE – COMING OUT**

**I do not own Twilight, and no copyright infringement intended.**

**Bloodthirstiness and adultery ahead—straight lemons.**

**Thank you so much to Voluptuous Vamp and Remylebeauishot for betaing this chapter. Much love.**

"Relax, Bella," Riley said, leaning back in his chair and looking calm. I wished I had his faith. "It'll be fine. At least you don't have Jane around for your first mission."

"Yeah." My mouth twitched nervously. I felt strange today. Feeling nothing had become the norm, but today I felt on edge and unsure of myself—it was understandable, given that I was going with Demetri and Felix on my first ever assignment. All my time in Volterra had been geared up for this moment. "What if it goes so badly that Aro decides that I'm not Volturi material?"

There was a snort from the sofa in the corner. "Come on, Bella," Chelsea said, sitting up and looking at me. "Aro loves your shield. Even if it's no good in combat, there's no way he'd ever throw you out of the guard. Besides, it couldn't be much worse than last time."

The three of us smiled and remembered the incident Chelsea had referred to. Aro had wanted to recruit a particular vampire because he had an unusual power: he could reflect or divert other talented vampire's abilities back at them or onto others. Sending Jane and Alec had been a disaster—though hearing about the terrible twins getting a dose of their own medicine had made a number of vampires extremely happy.

With Aro's not-so-secret weapons neutralized, tomorrow brute force—otherwise known as Felix deftly assisted by Demetri—would be used. We had no idea how my shield would be affected, but it was hoped that it would be enough to counteract his power and that he would be unable to use Demetri's talent to his advantage.

Demetri had been on the previous encounter and reported nothing other than slight disorientation before Alec's power had been projected onto him. Riley had told me that Demetri was still able to track the vampire. Felix's strength was physical and not a specific 'talent,' and he had seen no other adverse effects beyond Jane's pain.

If I could successfully contain the vampire within my shield, we were to bring the offender back to Volterra; if not, he was to be terminated. I felt strangely nervous. After having witnessed numerous executions in my twenty years with the Volturi and after taking numerous human lives myself, I wondered why I would feel so apprehensive now. Usually, I felt nothing except the prickle of numbness, but today it had deserted me.

Riley reached across the table and grabbed my hands. "Bella, it will be fine. You have Demetri and Felix to look after you. You'll be great—I know it. There might even be a promotion in it, and you'll be out on missions every other week."

I looked up into my friend's eyes and smiled. Riley had been my constant support since I arrived in Volterra as a newborn. We were close—he was my most trusted confidante and personal cheerleader. When I had been a complete failure at hand-to-hand combat, or when Jane worked me too hard, he was there for me and I had grown to rely on him so much.

Chelsea groaned. "No, don't say that. I like having someone to talk to. If it's just me and Raveena again, I'll just die." Afton, as usual, was out scouting for news of wayward vamps.

I grinned at my best female friend. Chelsea was great—it was hard to believe she was as ancient as she was. She truly was a Rosalie/Alice hybrid. My heart twinged a little as I got nostalgic, and I became uncharacteristically emotional at this touching moment with my two friends.

"I love you guys, you know that. If I didn't have you, I don't know what I'd do."

Both of my friends smiled in return.

"Bella, that's really sweet. I'm so glad you joined us." Chelsea looked like she was being a little more sensitive than usual.

"Hey, where's Raveena? I want to say goodbye before I go."

"She's busy with Marcus, and she's staying out of the way so you can be a little more clear today, Bella. Got to stay focused!" Chelsea said. Mostly, Raveena spent her days keeping Marcus sedated, but when she spent time with the rest of us we felt the effects.

"Yeah, I guess." I fidgeted, and Riley took my hands again. I looked into his burgundy eyes as they widened.

"Bella, you'll be fine. I promise. Get the job done, and then we'll all go out and have a celebratory drink. Bella—kick-ass Volturi guard! Watch out Jane!"

We all heard someone approaching in the distance and instantly quieted. A few moments later, Demetri entered and made a beeline for his lover.

As their mouths connected, I shifted awkwardly, trying to focus all of my attention on Chelsea and failing. Chelsea smiled widely and unashamedly watched what they were doing.

No matter how much I saw them both together, I could never be entirely comfortable. It wasn't that it was two men together—it was the shivers of electricity it sent up and down my body.

I was still a virgin, and Demetri teased me mercilessly about it. Apparently, I was the only sexually inexperienced vampire he had ever met.

The truth was that for my first decade in this life, the idea had not even crossed my mind. Now that I was more in control of my thirst, the only new people I encountered were human…and they never survived long enough for me to want to know them on a more personal level. One guy had come close when Chelsea and I had gone hunting in Milan, but in the end, the lure of his blood had overshadowed anything else he had inspired. Humans were just too tasty to consider sleeping with.

Other than my friendships, I felt nothing for no-one. I needed and wanted nothing more.

Finally, Demetri stopped making out with my friend, and with a final peck on the lips, he pulled away.

"Are you ready, Bella? Or do you want to get changed first?" He looked down in disdain at my usual uniform—grey shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a snug pair of slacks. Demetri was into clothes, in a big way.

I raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, I'm good to go. I'll just grab my coat on the way."

As I was getting up out of my chair to leave, Chelsea jumped up and hugged me.

"Oh, Bella. Enjoy your mission and come back soon—I'm going to miss you," she whispered into my hair. "But don't be too efficient. I don't want you out on the road all of the time!"

I chuckled.

As I walked out of the room, Riley gave me the thumbs up, and I fell into line behind Demetri. As we passed by my quarters, he paused and gave me time to grab my grey mid-calf length coat with its heavy hood.

I paused at the mirror and observed myself. I was short and slight, but with my red eyes peeking underneath the grey cloth and mahogany curtains of hair framing my face, I could look menacing. I practiced my most impassively arrogant face before turning to join my superior who was still waiting outside.

"You look the part, at least, Bella. Are you looking forward to your first time?" He smirked at me, and I eyeballed him in return. Demetri barely said anything to me unless it was a dig at my sexual inexperience, or frustration at my relative lack of vampire grace while he and Felix unsuccessfully attempted to teach me to fight and defend myself. Eventually, it was given up as impossible.

I was no longer clumsy, but I certainly wasn't as stealthy or deft as your average vampire. Sometimes, how you were in life echoed in eternity.

"I'll let you know when I find out whether it's worth making a fuss over, Demetri."

Demetri smirked even wider. "It's so very nice to be coming along for your initiation. We'll try and be gentle."

We met Felix at the exit, and it felt nice to be out in the warm, Italian night air. Felix and Demetri had to slow down for me as we departed Volterra unseen. Following Demetri, the Italian countryside passed underneath us as we headed towards Budapest. It was the furthest I'd been away from home since I'd awoken as a vampire. I glanced around at the European scenery as it sped past.

As expected, we closed in on the condemned vampire in the center of the city. He was in a small apartment overlooking a square. Demetri took the lead as we walked up the stairs, and as we slowly approached, I raised my shield so it enveloped all of us.

Felix did not seem aware, but Demetri sensed once he was inside my circle and gave a wide smile.

"As we practiced. You know the drill."

"Yes, sir," I replied meekly. Felix punched me in the shoulder in encouragement, and it made a painful cracking sound.

Demetri scowled. "Shhh."

We paused a moment before the friendly giant pushed the door, and it gave way with a crash. He stepped inside and Demetri followed. I kept close, enveloping us all within my shield.

In a dirty, worn armchair, there was a vampire who appeared to be around thirty human years old and in a far less polished state of attire than me and my slick Volturi friends.

"I see you've come back for more. What have you brought this time? I certainly know her talent isn't stealth, as I heard every footstep." He looked directly at me as he spoke. His accent was thick and very eastern European.

Demetri, as the highest ranking Guard member, took the lead. "That is for us to know, and you to find out. You have a choice. Either you come willingly or you die. The choice is yours."

The strange vampire laughed and made no move to get up from his seat. "Can you not remember how I brought the feared Volturi to their knees last time we met? Hurry up, I haven't got all day—let's get this demonstration over and done with. Do your worst."

"Bella, contain him."

I nodded and flung my shield forward, reshaping it so that Demetri and Felix were now on the outside, and the familiar electricity licked over myself and the stranger.

The stranger looked around confused. I felt slight pushes from the inside of my bubble, as if someone was experimentally trying to figure out what it was. There was a sudden expansion around the armchair.

"This is new. What do we have here?"

I kept my focus and spoke to my superiors. "We're both inside, but he can manipulate it a little."

Demetri smiled. "Then we deal with the problem here and now. For your dangerous disregard of the Volturi and their laws, you are hereby sentenced to sudden and immediate dismemberment and burning. Felix."

As Felix approached, the vampire got to his feet and looked around with wide eyes. Without a talent that was of much use in defense, Felix was a formidable opponent.

"I've changed my mind. I'll come with you."

Felix chuckled as his hand grabbed one of the stranger's limbs and tugged. It crumbled away from his body easily. The vampire screamed, but it did not last long as Demetri now had his hands around his head. It joined the unattached arm on the wooden floor, as did his remaining arm, his legs, and his torso.

"Let's go have a bonfire in the woods to celebrate a job well done. Who needs Jane?" Demetri smiled as he picked up some of the body parts; Felix took the rest of the pieces. Standing back, I felt a little unnerved but relieved that the execution had been uneventful. I had just played my part in ending a life, but rationalized it by reminding myself that he was already dead.

We headed out of Budapest and built a small fire. As soon as the vampire appendages were added, the flames jumped higher and sent a purple, ashy plume into the air.

"I need to feed." Felix looked at his friend.

"By all means. We will wait for you here."

Felix needed no more encouragement, and he quickly became a rustle of undergrowth in the distance as he left. I found a fallen tree and sat on it. Demetri remained motionless, staring into the light of the fire.

"That will teach him to be so arrogant in the future." He bent down and picked up a twig, examining it before throwing it on the pyre with the vampire remains. "Remarkably easy, wasn't it?"

"Uh, yeah," I agreed, feeling slightly awkward at being alone with my friend's boyfriend.

"And here I was thinking Chelsea liked you for your conversational skills." Demetri laughed. "You can talk to me. I don't bite—wait a moment. Actually, I do."

The side of my mouth lifted a little. "We all bite. I thought that was the point of the whole vampire thing."

"Now that's more like it, Bella. For a while there, I was thinking you didn't speak to me because you didn't like me."

"No. You're just kind of my boss."

Demetri moved a little closer and sat a few feet away from me on the same tree. "I am, but I'm also a sociable kind of fellow. Riley has told me that you've settled in well."

"Yeah, feels like I've been doing this all my life. I can barely remember what went before. I guess Volterra is where I feel at home."

"It's the same for all of us," Demetri said as he got to his feet again. "I guess Riley is a taste of home for you, too."

"Not really, I only met him moments before you did. Then he helped Victoria tear my boyfriend apart, of course. I'm sure our friendship could have started on a better footing." Maybe it was the experience of my first execution, but I felt an emotional twinge as I remembered Edward's final moments twenty years ago. I shook my head and pushed it back out of mind.

Demetri's mouth curled upwards, but his eyes were serious. "Yes. Yes, I'm sure it could have, but it doesn't seem to have suffered."

We both paused awkwardly for a short while.

"You know, I get a little jealous of you spending so much time with him, Bella."

My eyes snapped up. "What?"

"Please," Demetri's ruby reds rolled at me. "I've seen the way you look at him and how territorial you get when I touch him."

My eyes almost bugged out my head as I registered what Demetri was saying to me. "No…way! We're just friends, I don't—" I gave him a look of total disbelief.

"Bella, I've been around long enough to know lust when it slaps me in the face. You want him."

"I do not _want_ my best friend."

"You do," Demetri said with complete confidence. "Just remember who he belongs to. He's in Volterra because he's mine, so keep your dirty hands off."

For once, my superior looked less than composed, and the intensity in his eyes scared me. After all of my combat lessons, I was well aware of how easily he could overpower me, yet I couldn't contain the bubble of rage building up in me.

"I've never touched him. How dare you accuse me!" I got to my feet.

"Just because you're one of the few people I can't see all of the time, don't think I don't keep tabs on you and see how close you get. I wonder what it is you get up to when you're both in that bubble of yours. Virgin? Please."

I gasped. "I am a virgin. Just because you don't have any morals, don't think that we're all the same as you. I know that you got Chelsea to bind him to you in the beginning. You took away his choice. He wasn't even gay when I first met him."

Demetri suddenly rushed at me and grabbed me by the throat. "You repeat that to no one. He is _mine_. Don't forget it."

Panicking, I trembled a little as I looked up. Demetri might have a flair for the dramatic, a fine taste in clothes, and a liking for pretty boys, but he was far from soft and feminine. I stared into furious crimson eyes in silence and total submission.

Then, unexpectedly, he kissed me. His mouth moved against mine roughly, and his fingers around my throat softened slightly.

Even more unexpectedly, I kissed him back, unsure of what I was doing or why.

Demetri's other hand pushed against the small of my back, and suddenly my slight form was flush against his cold, hard muscular body. Thrills ran up and down my spine.

He thought he saw something between me and Riley. Maybe it wasn't Riley that made me crackle with electricity?

I put my hands inside his coat and rested them on his waist, before regaining some rational thought and pulling away.

"But you're gay," I groaned, shocking myself with how unfamiliar my wanton voice sounded.

The familiar smirk reappeared. "I'm open-minded. Now come here."

We kissed again, but this time both of our hands began to wander and take liberties. As Demetri's thumb ran over my nipple, I moaned into his mouth. When his hand made a trail up my inner thigh, I all out gasped.

"Innocent Bella, would I be the first?"

I hesitated, unable to form words—partly through nervousness, and partly through my lust haze.

The hand completed its journey, and the sudden fire in my panties burned away any doubt I might have had. "Yes…yes."

Suddenly, my coat was pulled down my arms and laid on the ground. I joined it, still attached to Demetri by the mouth, but he pulled away as he removed his own coat, placing it more carefully over the fallen tree.

Coming back to me, his hand rubbed over my breast and back down to the crotch of my pants. I was powerless to prevent my hips lifting to encourage more contact. Our mouths met again in a heated exchange.

Demetri leaned over me, resting on one hand and beginning to toy with the button and zipper of my slacks with the other. Before long, my pants joined Demetri's coat, along with my panties.

This was much further than I'd ever been, and I felt apprehensive as he found my most private of areas. The delicate sensation of fingers running over my lower lips made me feel weightless. Then suddenly, they were inside me.

"Oh." There was nothing else I could possibly say at that moment, as his hand began to slowly move. It was devastating to my ability to think, and I bit down on my lower lip while he continued.

I whimpered as his fingers suddenly left me, but then realized that Demetri was loosening his pants. My jaw dropped as I saw my first real-life penis. Were they always that big?

Obviously, this pleased Demetri, and he positively beamed as he positioned himself between my thighs. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the unfamiliar body part that was eagerly pointing in my direction.

Fingers rubbed against me, and I felt myself tensing in anticipation.

"Relax—I will be gentle, Bella. This is a first for me, too. I've never had a vampire virgin before."

Our eyes met, and I realized that he mistook my tenseness for hesitation.

"Please…" was all I could manage.

Demetri supported himself with one arm, and continued to toy with the dampened flesh between my legs. I found his mouth but broke the kiss, as suddenly, I was filled. My eyes rolled back in my head at the invaded feeling of flesh inside flesh, before closing so I could concentrate more on other senses.

He slid out and then pushed forward again. This time I expected the overwhelming sensations, and my hands dropped to his firm buttocks.

When my eyes opened, Demetri was looking down at me intensely, his eyes black rather than crimson. His free hand made quick work of the buttons on my shirt, and then found my small breast in its pure white bra, pushing it back so my nipple was exposed.

We said nothing, but the male above me became steadily quicker. Where I moaned, Demetri began to hiss and his thrusts became more urgent. Wanting more contact, I began to push my own hips against his on the in stroke and felt the sting of venom as I bit my lip more firmly.

After what felt like an eternity of pleasure, Demetri froze and cried out. A few seconds later, he collapsed on top of me, and I felt my coat sink into the earth a little further.

I waited, expecting Demetri to climb off, but instead, a hand drifted down our bodies to where we were connected. When it began to gently circle a hidden nub of flesh, I cursed aloud.

Within a minute, it was my turn to gasp and freeze. I lay there in total ecstasy, oblivious to everything unless it was touching me at that moment in time.

Demetri's mouth found my breast, and then he pulled out of my body, sat back on his ankles, and began fastening his trousers. He always looked a little smug, but right now, he was more so than ever.

I sat up and cringed a little when the evidence of what we had just done rushed out of me. "Ew."

"'Ew'?" Demetri smirked. "That isn't the reaction I usually get."

I smiled nervously, strangely self-conscious now that rational thought came flooding back. Demetri got to his feet and held out a hand for me. I accepted it and then set about getting myself into a more decent state of dress.

"How does it feel to be thoroughly initiated into vampire life? Good?"

I tried to speak, but I eventually gave up my awkward stuttering to simply grin. Demetri followed suit.

"This is our little secret. Yes?" He gave me an intent look that warned me not to do anything other than give my assent.

That was when I realized the implications of what I've done.

Riley.

I had just slept with my best friend's boyfriend. The coldness of self-disgust washed over me.

"Bella, you are going to keep this to yourself, aren't you?"

Demetri caught my attention again. By now, he had straightened himself up and looked as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. I, on the other hand, had yet to put my pants back on and felt disheveled.

"Um, yeah. Of course."

"Good. Now I suggest you get dressed quickly, because Felix will be back soon." Demetri walked away with his back to me, and I picked up the rest of my clothes.

Felix's first words when he arrived, to find me sitting awkwardly on the fallen tree and Demetri standing stiffly by the fire were, "Bella, what on earth have you done to your coat?"

Both male vampires looked at me intently. I looked down at the muddy garment.

"Uh, I tripped."

Demetri's mouth twitched and Felix guffawed.

"I can quite believe it. The world's only clumsy vampire."

I nodded my head and looked sheepish. My head was elsewhere, as I wondered how on earth I was going to act normal around Riley.

This was one of those times when it would be nice to have a little emotional numbness, and I was keen to get back home to Raveena.


	4. Chapter 4 The Right Thing

**CHAPTER FOUR – THE RIGHT THING**

**I do not own Twilight, and no copyright infringement intended.**

**Thanks to McGee42 and Addicted to Edward from PTB for helping with this chapter. **

**And, of course, the lovely WolvesCanEatMe for pre-reading.**

**No lemons, just lemon-related angst!**

The journey home almost broke me.

How many times had I talked with my best friend about how he felt after Victoria's betrayal? How her deceptions had cut him to the core? How glad he'd been that he had found happiness with Demetri?

I was in serious trouble and at a loss as to what to think and how to act. If I'd felt awkward around Riley's significant other before, it was nothing compared to how I would feel now.

_What had I done_?

The more I thought about it, the tighter the knot of stress in my chest became. With every step closer to Volterra, my guilt weighed heavier. I could not even begin to tie words to how much I hated myself for what I'd done.

Demetri also seemed strangely silent. Luckily, Felix was oblivious to the change in atmosphere and, instead, told us the tale of his latest feed as we ran.

Once we were indoors and safe from the rapidly approaching Italian morning sun, I expected us to part ways, but with a suspicious look, Demetri followed me to our common room. As if it wouldn't already be awkward enough, I had to look Riley in the eye with the source of my guilt just feet away.

Taking a deep, unnecessary breath, I took a brave step forward. Instantly, it was all better. Raveena looked up at me and the knot became a numb tingle. The only emotion I felt was relief, and I smiled widely.

"Bella! " Riley greeted me, just as Demetri slid into the chair next to him and wound a possessive arm around his shoulders. "So how was it?"

"Fine. No issues," I said confidently, surprising myself with the ease with which the lie escaped me. I almost thanked God for Raveena before I remembered what I was and that God had already washed his hands of me. I was a cold, soulless monster—it had never felt truer than now, and I was strangely okay with it.

"I told you that you'd do fine, but what have you done to your coat?"" Demetri pressed a kiss to his lover's neck as Riley spoke to me, yet the tracker's eyes remained focused in my direction.

"I, um, fell over on the way home. Nothing really."

"You must have fallen awkwardly—you're covered in mud! I don't think you could have gotten more on you if you'd tried."

"Yeah, you know me," I said with artificial cheeriness. "World's only clumsy vampire. I can pick out a mud puddle without even trying."

"Well, I'm glad you can see the funny side, Bella." Riley smiled. It was funny, but until now, I'd never noticed how nice his mouth was. Realizing that I was staring, I averted my eyes and focused on Raveena in the corner of the room. Her eyes met mine, and she stared back.

In my peripheral vision, I saw Demetri's intense gaze flicker away once he was satisfied with my story. He then proceeded to paw Riley, as usual, and it became harder to look away.

Now I had a more intimate experience with a man, I could visualize Demetri naked and remembered the firmness of his muscular form. Riley would be similarly well-built, I was sure, and just as aesthetically pleasing.

As Riley closed his eyes and leaned into his lover, I shifted uncomfortably. The image of Demetri's lips on Riley's skin was burned into my brain, and I felt my stomach flip. The two of them together… Without the associated guilt to hold it back, my imagination felt free to run wild.

I got up and settled into a soft chair away from my usual spot at the table, as close to Raveena's lonely seat and as far away from Demetri and Riley as was possible.

Part of me wanted to escape to my room, but right now, I wanted a few moments respite from my internal maelstrom. Prolonged exposure to Raveena made you cold and emotionless. Right now, that sounded pretty good.

~X~

Afton had returned home for a few weeks, but when he was sent out again, Chelsea and I got permission to head off to Paris for a little shopping spree. While her husband was in Volterra, she'd been distracted, but during the past few days, I'd noticed that she'd looked at me with increasing suspicion.

Sharing a large changing room, Chelsea finally voiced what she'd been dying to say.

"Bella, are you going to tell me what on earth is going on, or are you going to continue trying to pretend that nothing is wrong? You're not very good at it."

I looked up at my tall, blonde friend.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Chelsea giggled. "That is exactly what I mean. You look so guilty! Which, of course, makes me even more determined to find out what it is. It must be juicy!"

I looked away until I decided that a problem shared was sometimes a problem halved.

"I'm the worst friend in the world. That's what."

Chelsea froze halfway through zipping herself into a blue-grey designer dress and waited expectantly.

"While I was on my first assignment, I lost my virginity, and I really, really regret it."

"Oh, Bella, there's nothing wrong with having sex. It's natural."

"Not…" I began, taking a deep breath. "Not when you do it with your best friend's boyfriend, it isn't. I hate myself."

I looked Chelsea in the eye; rather than looking back in shocked horror, she smiled.

"Well, I have to admit I am slightly surprised. I thought it would be Riley, rather than Demetri. I've seen the sparks between you all. So, how was it?"

"It was awful—I feel so dirty."

"Yes, he can be a little selfish, but I wouldn't say he is awful. He's…equipped, isn't he? Very easy on the eye."

My eyes snapped to Chelsea's. Did she just imply what I thought she had?

"Wait…you've slept with Demetri?"

Chelsea laughed. "Bella, _everyone _in Volterra has slept with Demetri at some point. _Everyone_. It's practically an initiation into the Guard."

I stared back at her, dumbfounded.

"It was before I found Afton, and Demetri cornered me."

"Yeah, he kind of cornered me, too. I should have said no."

"Hindsight is a marvelous thing. Better to regret what you have done rather than what you haven't done. Forget about it and move on." Chelsea looked at me sympathetically. "I take it that you're trying to hide it from Riley. You're going to have to work on your lying. You might as well have 'guilty conscience' written on your forehead."

I tucked my hair behind my ears, and as I looked in the mirror. I changed my mind about the slinky gunmetal grey trouser suit I was wearing, and slipped out of it before grabbing the next hanger.

"I've listened to Riley talk about Victoria for twenty years, and then I go and sleep with the man he loves. If it wasn't for Raveena, I'd be a wreck."

"You know, it would have been easier if you'd just talked to me about it." She removed her dress, folded it, and put it in her "keep" pile, which was getting rather large. "I see the bond between you and Riley when we're all in your shield. You're close. I can see it. Even closer than Demetri and Riley are."

I snorted. "Chelsea, I'm grateful for you helping me make friends when I first arrived, and I do genuinely love you guys, but don't pretend that you didn't make these bonds in the first place."

My friend smiled. "Okay, there's _some_ I can take credit for—Demetri and Riley being my _piece de resistance_, of course—but others happened entirely of their own accord. I never once gave you and Riley more than a quick sense of familiarity. That bond developed entirely on its own."

I shook my head. "I don't believe you."

Chelsea's smile dropped. "Well, that's your choice, but I'm not lying." Her expression tugged at my heartstrings, and I knew instantly that she was telling the truth. Either that, or she seriously needed to be giving me lessons in deception.

I grabbed a familiar pair of designer slacks, but Chelsea stopped my hands.

"Bella, I think we need a slight image change to celebrate your newfound womanhood."

"I've lost my virginity. It's not going to change anything other than the fact I've become an evil home-wrecking whore."

"Oh, I think things _will _change. I won't be the only one to see it coming. Even if Aro hasn't listened to our thoughts, I'm sure he'll have heard Demetri's by now. If he knows, then Jane will."

I panicked.

"Don't worry. I have a plan. After I'm finished, Riley won't give anyone else's story the time of day."

I looked at Chelsea with a confused look.

"First," she said, picking up an emerald green cocktail dress. "Try this on. We're going to go out tonight and find you a nice Parisian human to lose your fictional virginity to, and we need to make sure it's worthy of a tale or two. This might get messy."

~X~

We returned to Italy, and as Chelsea instructed, I went to my room first to pack away my new wardrobe. I paused by the mirror to check my reflection.

Well, I certainly looked different—innocent Bella was gone, and now a cooler, "rock chick" Bella stared back. The short grey denim mini skirt, plain black vest, and the new charcoal-colored biker's jacket—all at odds with the dainty-heeled sandals I wore. Chelsea had given my hair and makeup an overhaul, too—my lipstick matched my scarlet eyes, which were emphasized with layers of dark liner and shadow.

Even I had to admit that I looked sort of sexy. The awkward teen was gone, and now I was a confident woman of the world—or at least that was the part I was playing. The look Chelsea had being going for was "vamp," and there was no doubting her success.

Looking forward to seeing Raveena again, I headed to the common room. When I walked through the door, all eyes snapped to me.

In exactly the same seats as they had been sitting when I'd left, Demetri was draped over Riley. I noticed Volterra's resident Don Juan's eyes bug out of his head a little, but he soon corrected his expression to his usual smug superiority. Riley's eyes widened, but he then broke into a smile and whistled.

"Well, look at you! I guess what Chelsea was telling us was true, hot stuff." He winked.

I grinned and tucked my hair behind my ear before walking the way Chelsea had taught me, sitting down in my usual spot opposite Riley…and Demetri.

Why couldn't I have been turned after I'd had a manicure? Avoiding my superior's eyes, I fiddled with my nails before speaking to Riley again.

"And what exactly did Chelsea say?"

Riley chuckled in a way that told me that Chelsea had done her job well, but I pretended to frown. Chelsea was lounging on the couch while Raveena observed impassively in the corner.

Chelsea looked sheepish. "I hope you don't mind, but I told them all about…you know."

"Chelsea!" I exclaimed, as if that hadn't been the plan all along.

"Welcome to the Volturi, Bella. Consider being a hot topic on the Volturi grapevine a rite of passage. At least you won't be little virgin Bella any more…"

"No, I'm not." I stared pointedly at Demetri. "So I don't expect to hear anything more on the subject, okay?"

He smirked. "Of course. I'm glad to hear that someone solved that problem for you."

"Yeah," I said a little too quickly. With Raveena around, I couldn't feel anything, but during my chats with Chelsea, I had found myself beginning to hate Demetri and his attitude. Things were bad enough before I'd found out that I was just another colleague marked off the list. His callousness was chilling—my best friend deserved so much more.

My best friend deserved so much more than _me_, too.

Riley was still beaming in my direction. "Do we get a blow by blow account of events? Well, more than Chelsea has already told us." Something told me that his friendly interest would be painful once I was away from Raveena. Any relief the numbness gave me now, I would feel with full force later.

"A lady doesn't say, Riley. My lips are sealed." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Demetri relax after I'd spoke. I turned to Chelsea and gave her a look of mock-indignation.

After a few moments of well-meant banter, Demetri got to his feet and left his lover unattended for the first time since the mission. The false camaraderie between us seemed unnatural, and I was grateful for the metaphorical breathing space. Once he was out of earshot, I made the most of having Riley's full attention to talk about the second time I'd "lost my virginity."

Riley laughed and teased me—it wasn't as if we hadn't talked about sex before, but back then I hadn't had a roll in the dirt with my best friend's boyfriend. A dark cloud hung over my mind as I carefully chose my words to avoid mentioning what I'd done with Demetri. The more I tried to avoid the subject, the more the images formed in my mind.

If my friend noticed that anything was off, he didn't say. I imagined his face as sullen and heartbroken as it had been during our early days in Volterra; the thought of torturing Riley, like Victoria, had stung.

How could I have even considered risking our friendship like this? How could a guy like Riley be with a sex-fiend like Demetri? Riley was blindly loyal to him—that much I knew of his character. He had done anything Victoria had asked, and he would do the same for his new lover.

I dreaded Riley's reaction should he ever find out what I'd done. Demetri's response to being found out would be swift and brutal, I was sure.

Riley could never know. Ignorance was bliss; knowledge hurt.

~X~

A few days later, I was hunting with Raveena in Naples.

"You've been hard work for me lately."

I turned around quickly and stared, wondering if I really had heard her thick, exotic accent and musical tone. It was a shame that she didn't talk more often as she really did have a unique voice.

"Um, yeah. Things have been a little difficult. I have a few things weighing on my mind."

"You exhaust me almost as much as Marcus."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Her complaint caught me by surprise. Things fell silent for a while as we found a group of tourists looking lost in a bad part of the city. They were an easy meal.

After we'd disposed of the bodies in the bay, we got back on dry land and took a few moments to sit and watch the ocean as we dried in the night air. Raveena was uncomplicated and didn't need conversation. I'd always appreciated the way her presence had brought instant clarity of mind; now, I felt guilty that I'd never considered that by numbing my feelings, she was burdening herself.

"Bella…" Raveena spoke again, and my name from her lips instantly caught my attention. "Life is suffering, that much I know. I feel it more than anybody, as I sense the pain I take away, but you must know that we are defined by our ability to cope with our own hurt. Only _you_ can deal with the problem. I only cure the symptoms."

I had never heard Raveena speak so many words. Thinking, I sat in silence and pondered what she had told me.

"Yes. You're right." I sighed.

"You and Riley, you ease each other's pain. I suggest you spend more time together."

I snorted. "It's not that simple."

"Why? It worked before, when you had first arrived."

"It's complicated." I bit my lip and felt the sting of my teeth breaking skin. I thought I'd grown out of that habit a long time ago, strange how it had resurfaced now.

Raveena got to her feet. "Nothing is more or less complicated than we imagine it to be."

Looking up at my usually silent friend, I decided that anything she _did_ utter was worth listening to. I'd put a wedge between me and Riley—the only person who could make me feel better. Now, I just had to figure out what to do to put things right.

But what?

~X~

My emotions were working normally now that Raveena was back by Marcus' side. I was lying on my bed, pondering the situation, when there was a knock at the door. Riley's knock.

"Err…come in."

The door opened and Riley's smiling face appeared. "Hey, Bella."

It was impossible not to smile back. My friend walked across the room and jumped up on the bed beside me, causing me to bounce.

"Hey, Riley. How are things?"

"Fine, Demetri is with Felix so I thought I'd take the chance to come and socialize. He's been so possessive lately."

I felt a twinge, but I quickly buried it. "Yeah, I've kind of noticed."

The conversation ended there for a short while, and I tried to make it feel companionable. Riley didn't seem to have a problem with it as he adjusted the cushions and made himself comfortable.

"So whatcha doing?"

"Nothing really. Just thinking."

"Don't hurt yourself," Riley teased, mussing my hair.

"Hey, don't mess with the do. Don't you know how long it takes me to get the just-got-out-of-bed look?"

"Love the new image by the way. It seems that 'doing the nasty' suits you." Riley laughed loudly. "Although you don't need to do the whole 'look at me, I'm sexually active' thing. Thanks to Chelsea, I think everyone knows. Poor guy."

"Yeah, I guess I never expected humans to be so fragile." One corner of my mouth twitched, and then fell. "I can see now why Edward couldn't sleep with me."

Hazy images of my vampire love from my human days drifted into my mind and I felt nostalgic. I remembered lying in our meadow, the sun catching Edward's skin and being in awe as he sparkled. It felt like a lifetime ago, when in fact, it was only twenty years.

I had been innocent and still had my humanity—a different me and a different life entirely. A life full of light and pastel shades, where now everything was dark night and blood red.

"You wish that it had been him, Edward, for your first time," Riley whispered.

"Um, yes and no, I guess. I wish it hadn't happened the way it did." I couldn't wish any harder for it not to have happened with Demetri. "But I now know that humans and vampires can't have sex and the human survive. It's impossible not to bite. There was no way that guy was getting out of that room alive."

"But what a way to go." Riley laughed again. "I've never tried sex with humans since I became this, but yeah, I can imagine. It would be like human me having sex with a burger. How do you kiss a burger and not wanna take a chunk out of it?"

"Yeah," I said flatly. The burger analogy summed things up pretty accurately.

We continued to chat for hours, until the sun went down, and I felt the need to go out and find some fresh air. Riley decided to go to his room for a shower before Demetri came back.

Once out in the open, I took the opportunity to stretch my legs and run as fast as I could, enjoying the free feeling of covering Italian countryside at breakneck speed. I stopped only when I reached the lakeside shores of Castiglione del Lago.

I found myself coming here often. Riley had helped me experiment with my newfound sub-aquatic skills not far away from here, and I smiled at how he'd had to drag me in and hold me down the first time until I realized I wasn't going to sink to the bottom.

Come to think of it, everywhere I went had a memory of Riley and me doing something.

I heard a crack and turned around quickly.

"Who's there?" I sniffed the air and then scowled.

"I haven't said 'knock, knock' yet." My eyes narrowed as Demetri stepped out of the shadows.

"What are you doing here?"

He trudged over to me and sat on a rock close by, obviously not wanting to sit on the ground and risk getting his clothes damp like mine were.

"I've come to have a little chat about you spending time alone with my boyfriend in your room."

I gasped in frustration. "Demetri, I thought we'd already covered this. Riley is my friend. _Friend_._"_

"So you say, but it didn't stop you wearing your hooker outfit when you came back from Paris. Do you really think he goes for that kind of thing?"

"Ugh…that was not what I was doing! Look, I did the whole Paris 'losing my virginity' thing to hide what _we_ did. I thought you'd be pleased that you had your cake and got away with it. You…you…I don't even have words for you."

"I have quite a few words for you, Bella."

Getting to my feet as my anger grew, I dusted myself off. "Believe it or not, I came here to get away from you and Riley and this _mess_. There is nothing between Riley and me—why can't you get that?"

"Because it's not true. You'd have to be blind to not see it."

"Yeah, well, I must be blind then. World's first blind vampire—I can add that to my list of attributes. Don't you have somewhere better to be instead of harassing me about cheating with your boyfriend, when you're the one that's guilty?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. I could be fucking Riley right now, for a start."

I turned and let out a cool breath, shocked by Demetri's bluntness. I felt a twinge as I imagined Riley and Demetri together, naked, touching.

"Bella, how can you think you aren't attracted to Riley when you practically come in your pants every time I touch him? You almost did then."

"I did not!" I exclaimed, but then I began to doubt myself. Did I really? I was a little jumpy whenever I saw them together…

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much."

I pictured the gay lovers together again, experimentally. "I…" Looking at Demetri, I had a horrifying realization—he was right about the attraction. Riley was beautiful and I cared deeply about him, but Demetri…I wanted him…in a different way.

My revelation shook me.

"You can't even deny it to me anymore."

"He is my friend. _I would not_—I care too much for him." Feeling brave, I marched up towards Demetri and waved a finger in his face. "He's worth so much more than this. You don't deserve him—"

"Neither do you."

Furious, I stared up into Demetri's narrowed eyes. Unbidden, a flashback of looking up at his face in a much more compromising position found its way into my mind.

For a brief moment, electricity crackled between us. As he looked down at me, heavy-lidded, I tried not to be aware of the cut of his jaw and the pout of his lips.

_Not as nice as Riley's lips._

Giving myself the mental equivalent of a cold shower, I stepped back.

"No. Riley doesn't deserve to have his boyfriend and his best friend cheating on him behind his back."

Demetri scoffed. "I don't remember offering a repeat performance."

"Then what did you follow me out here for, Demetri? It's not as if you ever bump into people by accident. My shield was down. You knew exactly where I was, and that I was on my own. I think you're judging me by your own standards—since you know what you'd do with me if we were alone, you assume I'd do the same with Riley. You'd be wrong."

I turned on my heels and broke into a sprint in the direction of home, where Demetri couldn't corner me. Where I wouldn't want to be cornered.


	5. Chapter 5 No Secrets

**CHAPTER FIVE – NO SECRETS**

**I do not own Twilight, and no copyright infringement intended.**

**Straight lemons, threesome fantasies, and male slash. Consider yourselves warned.**

**Thank you, fic wife!**

Any pride or self worth that I'd felt about saying no to Demetri didn't last long.

As the decades ticked by, on occasion, Demetri would corner me. Sometimes I'd have the will to tell him where he could go put his cheating dick, and then other times I'd crumble. Sometimes, I couldn't even last long enough to answer with words.

The problem was that, when it came to that particular hunger, I was near enough starving myself. Chelsea often took me out and paraded human men before me, but they were never what I fancied. When I came home, it was like having my favorite food on a plate in front of me, and I didn't have the will to say no.

The simple fact was that the two men I wanted, I couldn't have.

_Correction_—I could have one of them, but it killed me afterwards.

This time, I'd been walking through the corridors back to my room, and a stone-like grip had caught my elbow, dragging me into a dark corner. I didn't need vampire senses to tell me who it was. The immediate tugging at the buttons of my blouse was the biggest clue.

"Demetri," I groaned moments before a mouth found mine. Trying to take a second to check the reading on my moral barometer, the cold hand that firmly rubbed against the crotch of my pants told me that the forecast was most definitely wet today.

I found his shoulders and wrapped my arms around them, kissing him back hard. In response, I was lifted and carried backwards to the wall with Demetri's hands all over me.

I would regret it later—I always did. At this moment in time, that didn't matter.

Barely even noticing that my pants had been removed, I felt Demetri smirk against my mouth as my panties were torn from my body. Smug bastard.

No doubt tomorrow there would be many jokes about "keeping my panties on," because he was an ass like that. For all he warned me away from his boyfriend, it was us doing the cheating that he suspected of Riley and me, and Demetri seemed to love making me squirm in public.

That always puzzled me—he had as much to lose as I did if this ever got out. I might be the vampire he called upon when he felt the urge for female company, but he was still in a serious relationship with my best friend, and he certainly gave the impression that he was rather attached to Riley.

I pushed that thought out of my head as I wrapped my legs around his waist; Demetri's pants dropped to his ankles, he swiftly thrust up into me, and I closed my eyes, raking my fingers through his hair as I moaned.

"You might want to keep the volume down, Bella, dear," he whispered hoarsely into my ear as he withdrew and forcefully plunged forwards again.

I nodded my agreement and bit my lip, feeling the venom sting. I smirked to myself as I considered sinking my teeth into Demetri, but then I realized the resulting mark might raise questions.

"Something amusing?"

I looked into Demetri's face as he continued to screw me.

"Yes."

"Care to share?"

I knew that look. It was paranoia. For a moment I considered defending myself, before I remembered that our best times together had been when he was in a fit of jealousy over Riley.

"Not really."

Demetri growled and pounded into me harder; the smile on my face grew wide.

When did I become so—

My train of thought was suddenly interrupted as Demetri dropped me and struggled to pull up his pants.

"Get dressed now."

"What?"

"Just do it!"

Demetri was already fastening his zipper, and I had one leg inside my slacks when the source of Demetri's sudden panic became apparent.

"Disgusting." Jane's dulcet tones caused me to freeze and my head snapped up. She looked back with raised eyebrows. "I really don't know what Aro will think when I tell him that you've been copulating in the corridors."

"I really don't think that will be necessary, Jane." Demetri responded, though the witch twin's eyes were still firmly trained on me. I became very aware that I was still very indecent, and slowly made moves to finish dressing, trying to ignore the semi-amused glare Jane was pointing in my direction.

"You might be right, Demetri. I'm sure that he'll see it for himself the next time he takes your hand."

My lover chuckled. He and I already knew that Aro had seen the situation via both our minds, but to admit that would be to let Jane know that this was a reoccurring event.

"I really don't think that's something to laugh about. Pain." Jane smirked, but her expression soon dropped as Demetri did not respond with the scream she was expecting. I had anticipated her attack and he was firmly inside of my shield.

"Maybe another day, Jane. Now go play elsewhere. Bella and I have adult matters to discuss."

The look on the tiny terror's face told me that Demetri would pay for his insolence later, when I wasn't around to protect him. I was sure that Demetri would be well aware of that, too, but when Jane turned on her heel and stomped away, he greeted me with a wide smile.

"Thank you, Bella."

It wasn't often he spoke to me with genuine sentiment, so it took me aback.

"No problem."

"We appear to have been interrupted, but I will see you later…" He wandered over to me, winding a hand around my neck to pull me in for a kiss. "Your room."

In a flash, he was gone. I shook my head to clear it a little, then grabbed what was left of my panties off the floor.

Walking back to my room, planning to have a shower and wondering whether I was being a doormat by allowing Demetri to dictate to me when we did and didn't fuck, I almost walked into Riley.

Staring at him like a rabbit in the headlights for a moment, I suddenly remembered what I was holding in my hand, and stuffed them into my pocket.

"Hi, Bella. I was just looking for you—wait, what did you just put in your pocket?"

As nothing would spring to mind, I open and closed my mouth like a goldfish while I scrambled for something to say.

"Was that your underwear?" Riley broke into a wide smile. "Bella, you sly dog!"

I managed an unconvincing smile. "Yeah, uh, I went out. Itch to scratch, and um…yeah."

Riley punched me in the arm, and then inhaled. "You've seen Demetri?"

"Yeah…uh, I saw him in the corridor not long ago. Jane interrupted us, and he left." As my heart had no beat to pound in my chest, instead, all I got was a sickening gripped feeling.

"Jane." My friend rolled his eyes. "Anyway, your room or mine? I'm bored and I need entertainment."

"Um, mine?" Being in his room, which adjoined Demetri's, would feel a little awkward right about now. We fell into step as we continued on together, Riley talking and me listening.

Entirely comfortable, Riley hopped on the bed as soon as we were inside the door, and grabbed the remote control for the huge TV on my wall. If I was honest, I struggled to find things to spend my Volturi salary on. One of my walls was now almost entirely TV, while another was affectionately known as "the wall of books." There was barely room for my bed and wardrobe.

Riley threw a pillow at me, and then I sat crossed legged in my usual position, hugging the pillow between my knees; I was very aware that my best-friends boyfriend had torn off my panties only minutes previously.

While we talked, I forgot about the passage of time, and I startled when there was a knock at the door.

"Bella?"

_Fuck._ Demetri.

I didn't have time to think up a reply by the time the door slowly opened and a familiar blonde head peered round.

"Demetri?"

"Riley?"

Demetri stepped inside and closed the door after him. "I've been looking for you. I…was going to ask if Bella had seen you."

Wow.

I froze up, knowing I was in the room with the guy I was screwing—and the friend I was screwing over. It didn't help that Demetri's eyes narrowed and flicked between Riley and me sitting on my bed.

It really, really didn't help that having the two of them in my room was doing strange things to me. Riley was sprawled on my bed, and Demetri stared from near the door. My eyebrows raised as a rush of ideas took over my brain, and my body reacted.

I hugged the pillow closer, sure that both guys would pick up on my so obvious arousal, but I averted my eyes and tried not to look at either of them.

For a moment, silence prevailed in the room, before Demetri shifted awkwardly.

"Riley, I was looking for you because I thought you might like to see something…in my quarters. Right now."

Riley chuckled. "I get the feeling it might be something I've seen before, but okay." He punched me in the shoulder. "Later, Bella."

With a suspicious glare in my direction, which I was sure was genuine and not just for show, Demetri ushered his boyfriend out of the door and slammed it shut. I exhaled and flopped back on my pillows in relief, covering my eyes with my hand.

That was close. Too close. Moments like that were the reason why I shouldn't be fucking my friend's boyfriend.

I didn't lie there and beat myself up for long. After the moment with Demetri in the corridor, and my thrill at being in my room with both men only seconds earlier, I felt like I was about to explode with lust.

After chewing on my lower lip thoughtfully, I decided to remove my blouse the quick way, sending buttons flying, and then pushed my slacks off over my hips and down my thighs. I sat up long enough to unhook my bra and throw it across the room; my panties soon joined it.

Lying back, I closed my eyes, the fingers of one hand brushing across my mouth, the other drawing a languid line between my breasts, across my stomach, before settling between my legs.

_In my mind, I'm on my knees in the middle of the bed, Demetri naked behind me, roughly grabbing my thighs and his manhood already standing to attention. In front of me, Riley is just as bare, his fingers tracing the same trail as mine, before capturing my mouth with his._

I'm pretty sure that I just groaned out loud.

_I feel Demetri move, the slick tip of his penis moving over my ass, and his hands encouraging me to bend forward just a little. As he does that, Riley's hand squeezes one of my breasts, and I kiss him back greedily, holding onto his shoulders for balance._

_Demetri pushes himself into me from behind, and the forward movement of his thrust closes the gap between me and my friend. At the second jolt, my hand drops and wraps around Riley, and then I start jerking him to the same rhythm that his boyfriend is setting._

Holding that thought, my thighs clenched around my own hand and my hips lifted off the bed.

"Holy. _Fuck_," I gasped, as I hit the wall of pleasure. I didn't move a muscle while it passed, leaving me in a boneless, jelly-like state.

I'd really had to stop having that fantasy. Really. But it always worked so well.

After lying there for around five minutes, I eventually got up and had that shower I'd promised myself earlier.

~X~

I stopped by Chelsea's room to talk to her about what just happened. She laughed, a lot.

"It's not even funny. I so nearly got found out."

Chelsea smiled. "But like you say, it was a very hot moment. I certainly wouldn't say no to the both of them."

"You're a married woman." I reminded her.

"I know, and it would be too easy to make them overcome with lust for me. Where's the challenge? Afton, I never needed to use my talent on—that's why I love him so much. Because he genuinely loved me, right from the beginning."

I smiled back, but with a sad edge; I was about to say that I wished I had that, but then I remembered that once upon a time, I did. Something in my chest clenched, and Raveena wasn't here to make it go away, so I swallowed it down.

"Tell me that you weren't tempted to initiate it in real life before they left?" Chelsea winked in my direction. I hated the fact that my room is close to hers. She didn't miss a trick. She was part of the reason that I no longer owned a vibrator.

I avoided the question.

"I really need to stay away from Jane for a while. Demetri is probably going to get it twice as bad because I shielded him."

"You almost sound like you feel bad about that—"

Chelsea was cut off by a yell a few corridors away. It was loud and angry.

We looked at one another.

My first thought was Jane. No doubt she'd found Demetri on his own and now he was getting the punishment Jane had wanted to dish out earlier. But then, the voice wasn't quite right.

"Riley." In an instant, I was out of the door and in the corridor, closely followed by Chelsea.

~X~

Riley POV

Lying on Bella's bed, I could tell that she was awkward about the fact that I'd caught her coming back from having sex. I wished that she would listen when I told her it was nothing to be embarrassed or feel guilty about.

I suspected that she felt that way because of Edward. They'd never got the chance to sleep together, and so, to do it after he was gone, she felt it was wrong. But it wasn't—it was something entirely natural, and even though he was gone, she had eternity ahead of her, and she deserved to find happiness with someone else.

Whenever I tried to explain this to her, she only seemed to look more guilty.

In my opinion, I didn't think that the fact she only ever did it with humans helped matters, but I kept my trap shut. Sometimes, I wondered how she'd managed to do it without eating them, as her eyes weren't always red like after a feed afterwards, but she never said anything and I didn't ask.

Bella half-smiled at me as I tossed a pillow her way. After she caught it, she hugged it tight between her thighs, looking awkward. I tried not to let my eyes dwell on the pillow.

Despite the fact that I was with Demetri, some more hetero part of me sometimes forgot that Bella was just a friend. In some ways, it was reassuring, and in others, confusing. I was a guy, and she was the goofy, nervous girl who I spent a lot of my free time with. We were the only Americans associated with the Volturi guard. We had to stick together. As friends.

I got a twinge, and I felt that usual protective need to tell her that it was okay. I much preferred to see her smile, and sometimes I felt like such a failure when I couldn't. When she did, it was a good sign that she was having one of those days when she was at ease with me, and not feeling on edge, as she sometimes could be.

We talked about general crap, skirting the issue and trying to take her mind off things; it was easy to see her start to relax.

Then there was a knock on the door, and she instantly tensed back up.

"Bella?"

What was my boyfriend doing knocking on Bella's door? I wasn't stupid—I knew how insanely jealous he was of my friendship with her, and I frowned, really hoping that he'd not taken it so far this time that he'd actually come to check up on me.

His head appeared as the door opened, and he looked shocked.

"Demetri?"

"Riley?"

Mentally, I shook my head as Demetri came inside and closed the door, looking between Bella and me. We were going to have to have the trust talk again.

"I've been looking for you. I…was going to ask if Bella had seen you."

Bella's face was a picture of total panic. Demetri's mistrust always had this affect on her, and she was never comfortable around him. It was such a shame that my two favorite people couldn't just get along without issue.

Bella hugged the pillow closer, and I caught the smell of female lust. It was obvious to everyone that Bella found Demetri attractive, and that she often reacted in this way. I wasn't worried about that; Demetri was a good looking guy, but this was Bella. If it had been anyone else...

She knew everything about me. Talking through our mutual pain over Edward and Victoria really helped us bond, and I knew she'd never hurt me that way. That was why she was my best friend.

Demetri was bisexual; he'd already told me as such. I guess that I'd have to say that I was, too, even though before Dem I'd thought I was entirely straight.

I knew Dem had a history of disposable relationships, and a reputation for being resident Casanova, but he'd told me on numerous occasions that me and him were more than just sex. This was real. I trusted him, despite the fact he wasn't quite so keen to put his faith in me.

There was an awkward silence; Bella looked away, and Demetri fidgeted by the door.

"Riley, I was looking for you because I thought you might like to see something…in my quarters. Right now."

I laughed. My lover was so transparent—and so impatient in the bedroom. Maybe it was what I was picking up from Bella or Demetri's intensity, but I'd been feeling a few stirrings myself.

"I get the feeling it might be something I've seen before, but okay. Later, Bella."

Dem practically pushed me out of the door, and we walked through the corridors in silence before I broke it.

"Are you going to tell me what that was all about or not?"

Dem looked at me, and by the set of his jaw, I could tell he was agitated. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Hmmm." We continued to walk back to his quarters. "You know the whole possessive thing really isn't a turn on. It's about time you had a bit more faith in me."

"I trust you implicitly. It's other people that I don't trust."

"Uh-huh." I raised my eyebrows at him. "Give Bella a break. She's done nothing wrong."

He laughed, but he was obviously not finding anything funny. "Well, let's just say that she's a victim of circumstance."

The conversation ended as we turned the corner and arrived at Demetri's room. He then smirked and opened the door, motioning for me to go inside. As soon as it was closed, he was on me, his voice a husky whisper in my ear.

"What was that you were saying about not being turned on?"

A hand ran down my chest, and down to my crotch, and I felt myself harden. As Dem pushed himself against me, it was obvious he was in a similar state of arousal.

Talking was no longer on the list of things I wanted to do at that particular moment in time.

Dem's hand moved up to the waistband of my jeans, and popped the button, before pulling my zipper down. I took an intake of breath in anticipation, and I didn't have to wait long before my lover's hand found its way inside my boxers.

I grunted as his fingers wrapped around me, and his other hand rubbed across my chest.

I felt a kiss pressed to the back of my neck.

"Get on the bed."

After turning round in time to catch his smirk, I stepped out of my jeans and pulled off my shirt. I waited until I was comfortable on the bed before taking off my boxers and my socks.

By that time, Demetri had taken out his cufflinks, and was walking over to me as he unfastened his shirt, revealing the flawless body that I'd become so familiar with over the years. I raised my eyebrows as he laid it carefully across the back of an ornate chair, receiving a smile in return. I didn't have to say anything; he already knew my thoughts over how he was with his clothes.

Stepping over my jeans, he slipped off his shoes, removed his socks, and climbed on the bed next to me.

Demetri clambered on top, pinning me to the bed before his mouth met mine. As his body lowered, I felt his erection through his pants. Pushing him off me just far enough so that I could unfasten his buttons, I then removed all fabric barriers.

Once his cock was freed, I moaned at the feeling of his pubic hair against my thighs, and his already wet tip prodding against my hip.

He broke away, and reached over to the bedside cabinet. I rolled onto my stomach, knowing what was coming next.

~X~

"So, are you going to tell me why you were looking for me in Bella's room or not?"

I looked up at him, as he rested his head on his arm and played with the line of hair from my navel downwards.

"Does it matter?" He responded with a pout.

"Guess not." I lay there, with my arms above my head. "Why are you so jealous? I've told you time and time again that Bella and me, we're just friends. Don't you trust me?

"You know I trust you. You're the most loyal person I've ever known. It's just…"

"What?"

"Other people get in the way."

I didn't accept his answer, and waited for him to explain a bit more.

"I guess I'm just scared I'm going to lose you." His tone was serious, and he stared me in the eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere. I've been here, for what, seventy years? What makes you think I'm going to leave you?"

Dem went silent, and his fingers moved up my stomach.

"Let's just say, I made a deal with the devil, and she has a habit of taking away what she's given you if you don't pay up. And I have a history of not paying up."

"That makes no sense to me whatsoever." I ran my fingers through his fair hair. Not many people got to see the vulnerable side of Demetri. I could tell that there was something he wanted to say, but he wasn't forthcoming, so I decided not to push it.

After a number of minutes of silence, he continued.

"What you and Bella have, friendship, or whatever that might be, that's genuine. Me and you, we're more forced. Maybe the whole reason I've never settled down isn't because I've not wanted to, but because someone won't let me."

My forehead wrinkled while I thought about it. "I'm still not getting what you're trying to tell me."

"Can't we just leave it as I love you?" As he spoke he looked down, and I could tell that was enough for now.

"Love you, too, Dem." I said in return, knocking him around the side of the head. Finally, he gave a small laugh.

"Mean that?"

I replied silently, with eyebrows raised.

He groaned out loud. "Jane's heading this way. I think she owes me a dose of pain from earlier. Get dressed—you don't want to see this."

"I'm not going to just walk away and let you get pained. Shit, what kind of a boyfriend do you think I am?" It wouldn't have been the first time I'd seen Demetri fall victim to Jane.

"Ah, I know. I can take it like a man. I just don't want you here to see it." His eyes pleaded with me. Demetri was just too damn proud at times. For all I didn't want to, I'd leave because that's how he wanted it. Plus, I was a sucker for that look.

"Okay…" I reluctantly grabbed my jeans and shirt, and walked into the adjoining room. Once I closed the door, I heard the familiar sound of Jane's feet, the opening of a door, and I shuddered. I listened in, because I had no choice.

"So, you thought that was amusing, avoiding me earlier. You should know that I'd catch up with you later, and you wouldn't get away with it."

I heard Dem's laugh. "I knew and I expected it, Jane. Now can we get this over with? I have things I could be doing."

"Hmmm. Or people, I guess."

Demetri paused. "That, too."

There was another moment of silence, and I could picture the evil expression on Jane's face as I prepared to hear my lover scream.

"Oh, I'm sure you would prefer me to do it that way, Demetri. But would you really learn from it? I think not." I heard Jane's footsteps headed in my direction. "Maybe we should bring Riley in. That might help the lesson stick in your mind."

I got to my feet and backed away from the door. I'd never experienced Jane's talent, and from what Demetri described, I didn't want to change that.

"No!" I heard Demetri shout, and I was touched at the way he wanted to keep me out of it.

"Come on in, Riley. Don't be shy." I heard Jane's teasing voice, and part of me wanted to run out of the other door. But then, that would make me a coward. Dem had handled her pain on numerous occasions, so I was sure I could, too.

I walked forward and stepped back into Demetri's quarters.

"Hello, Riley. Nice of you to join us." Jane smiled sweetly in my direction.

"Don't you even—" Dem rushed forward, but he froze in his tracks with a muffled yelp.

"Hurts, doesn't it? Without Bella to shield you."

I wanted to rush to Demetri and somehow help him, as I stood and watched him slowly drop to his knees in agony.

"But that's not enough, is it? You think that you can handle what I dish out? Well, how about we tell Riley what it was that you were doing with Bella in the corridor earlier?"

My eyes snapped to Jane, and I stared at her with a furrowed brow, as she continued to keep her full attention on my lover.

"No…" Dem groaned half-heartedly, now doubled over.

"Why? So you can both get away with it? You make me sick, Demetri."

Finally, Demetri let out a gasp of relief, and Jane turned her attention my way.

"When he's in a condition to talk again, I would ask him a few questions about earlier today when I caught him and Bella having sex in the corridor. Rather disgusting, if you ask me, doing it in public places where they can be found. Heaven knows how many times they've done it when no one was around."

With that, Jane turned on her heel and walked out of the room, pausing before she closed the door. "If you want to thank me for letting you know, you know where to find me."

I stood there, speechless, looking down at Demetri attempting to get to his feet on the floor below me.

Suddenly, it all clicked into place. Demetri's scent on Bella earlier, her panties in her pocket, and Demetri's surprise at finding me in her room—along with many other occasions in the past that now suddenly took on a more sinister meaning.

"Riley…I can explain."

My answer was a roar that came straight from my guts, as I realized how badly I'd been betrayed once more.

~X~

**Just to let everyone know, in case you see a duplicate story pop up on Leanne Golightly's fan fiction accounts, that is also me. I've just decided to go public with this slightly controversial pairing. My one shots will only remain under WayBeyond.**

**Thanks, ladies! (I assume you're all ladies, anyway!)**


	6. Chapter 6 Mastermind

**CHAPTER SIX – MASTERMIND**

**I do not own Twilight, no copyright infringement intended.**

**Remember Chapter Five? Yep? You weren't squicked out? Then read on.**

**Warning: herein lies the naughty Demetri/Bella/Riley angry sex that's been building up all along, plus some strange things insinuated that might push the boundaries—but only alluded to. Dark, dark, and dark. Don't say I didn't warn you!**

**Thanks, WolvesCanEatMe. You know I love you!**

Bella POV

"Bella!" I was determined to intervene but Chelsea grabbed me by the hand and slowed me down. I would not see him hurt. He'd done nothing wrong, and there was no way he should pay for something cause by me and Demetri.

Before we could round the next corner, the roar stopped.

"I'm sorry. You don't understand. You don't know the full story." I froze. My illicit lover's tone was not one he'd ever used for Jane—he was begging, pleading.

A cold realization washed over my entire body, from my head to my toes.

"Bella? What is it?" Chelsea rushed over to me, putting her arm around my shoulders.

I looked up with pained eyes as Riley's livid voice answered for me.

"Bella. You were fucking _Bella_?"

Chelsea and I looked at each other until Jane rounded the corner. She stopped and smiled—it wasn't a pleasant expression.

"I hope you enjoy what's coming to you, Bella. As you can hear, I did the only fair thing. Riley now knows the truth."

A rage unlike anything I'd ever known overtook me, and shrinking my shield close around my brain, I leaped forwards towards Jane.

As my hands connected with her shoulders, she fell backwards and snarled. Without the ability to pain me, Jane now had to rely on her hand-to-hand combat skills, which were about as non-existent as mine.

We rolled on the ground, growling and scrambling for a hold that could cause some damage; I thought I finally had my moment as I noticed Jane's gaze focused on Chelsea.

No. I wondered how I could expand my shield to protect my friend without leaving myself vulnerable, but before I could do anything, Chelsea spoke.

"Don't you dare."

Chelsea's voice was low but authoritative. I'd never heard anyone speak to Jane that way, not even the Masters.

Jane's eyes narrowed and I prepared myself to push out my shield, bringing Jane on the inside but protecting Chelsea.

Again, Chelsea reacted before me.

"You know I'll do it again. And you'll hate yourself just as much this time."

Jane looked furious, but after a few seconds, her grip on me loosened and it was obvious that the scuffle was over. Confused, I got to my feet and Jane soon followed, dusting herself off as she glared at my friend and me.

"One day, Chelsea. When that day comes, you will get what you deserve."

Chelsea laughed. "I look forward to it. The result will always be the same."

With a disgusted look in our direction, Jane backed away and I listened to the sound of her shoes clicking down the corridors.

"Woah." I turned to my friend who gave me the widest grin I'd ever seen. "I've never known anyone…"

The continuing argument between Riley and Demetri caught my attention—my name was being mentioned repeatedly. Riley was angry, and by now, Demetri had started shouting back, protesting his innocence. Chelsea rushed over and linked her arm through mine.

"You _don't _want to be in that room right now, not with two well-built vampires arguing."

"But I'm part of it—"

"You'll be _in parts_ if you go in there."

I was conflicted, and I looked between my female friend, and the direction of the angry voices.

"Bella, let's go away for a day or two. We'll give them a little space to talk about it, and then we'll come back when they've calmed down. That way, they might be a bit more reasonable and willing to listen to you."

When I didn't respond, Chelsea stepped closer and brushed my hair out of my face.

"Barcelona? You quite liked it last time. You can take your time and prepare your speech rather than just storming into the thick of things now, not knowing what to say for the best..."

Chewing my lip, I nodded and allowed myself to be led away. Chelsea knew what was best for me, and I trusted her. After a quick detour to pick up some belongings, we left the castle—thankfully, it was dark outside—and ran north.

"Stay close, and keep your shield over both of us at all times. More than likely, Demetri will know I'm with you, and we don't want to tempt him to come looking at the moment."

I agreed, and followed my friend's lead. As we finally turned and started following the curve of the coast into France and then Spain, I managed to take my mind off the Riley situation long enough to enquire about what had happened in the corridor.

"What did you do to Jane to make her change her mind about paining you?"

"Jane isn't the only vampire with a talent. She's tortured me twice in the past, and each time, she's gotten a taste of her own medicine."

"A taste of her own medicine?"

"There's more than one way to cause pain. I daresay that, right now, you know exactly how sleeping with the wrong person can feel?"

I gave a humorless snort.

"Well, remember how I said I only need the slightest inkling to work with? What if that tiny amount of lust was with someone who you really shouldn't be feeling it for?"

My brow wrinkled as I wondered what Chelsea meant. As we ran, my friend looked over at me and beamed.

"Someone Jane shouldn't feel lust for? I don't…" Something within me clicked, as I examined the possibilities. "Surely you're not talking about…"

Chelsea's expression was the only confirmation I needed.

"Oh." My eyes snapped forward as I contemplated what I'd just found out. Though I couldn't vomit, I felt sick to my stomach. It was hard to comprehend, but I couldn't imagine anything worse than the mental picture in my head. For the first time in my life, I felt sorry for Jane, being manipulated like that.

"It worked perfectly. She always thinks twice about paining me."

I didn't really have anything to reply, so I continued to run in stunned silence.

We made it to Barcelona just as the sun was rising, and Chelsea booked us into a particularly nice hotel. The day was bright, so until night fall, we stayed in our room and talked. By the time the sun had set, she had managed to bring me round, and I felt as close to her as I ever had.

Hell knew that I needed a friend right now, especially after what I'd done to Riley. So what if she'd done something awful to Jane? Jane had wronged me, too.

I wanted to text Riley so badly, but Chelsea advised against it. We would travel back tomorrow night to see what the damage was. Part of me wanted tomorrow to come quickly, while another part wished that it would never come at all.

Thinking about how Riley might react almost killed me. I wished so hard that I could take it all back, but I knew that was impossible. What was done, was done.

Once, I'd compared myself to Cathy from Wuthering Heights—it was so true. First, I'd broken Jacob's heart—my best friend and the love I'd cast aside to pursue another. Edward, I'd caused him pain, and played a part in his literal destruction.

Just like Cathy, even after death, I could still hurt those around me. I'd betrayed Riley's trust and used him, knowing full well that my actions would wound him. I was the ghost who'd knocked on the window, only to bring disaster once I'd been let in.

As I thought, I felt a fresh hole punched through my chest so acutely that the wind could almost blow through me. I craved Raveena's presence to take my pain away, but Chelsea was right—she would be needed more in Volterra right now…with Riley. I would have to deal with my hurt on my own. That was my punishment.

The following night, we stopped only long enough to feed before setting course for home. My legs felt like lead as I forced them to keep pounding the ground and keep pace with Chelsea. The closer we got to Volterra, the more gravity seemed to pull me down until I felt six inches tall.

Stepping past Santiago, who was standing sentry at one of the hidden entrances, Chelsea hugged me.

"I'm going to find Afton and find out what has happened since we left. I'm sure you want to speak to Riley on your own."

Nodding, I watched her leave, and then tried to catch my best friend's scent. When I did, I followed it to the common room.

Apprehensively stepping inside, Riley stared as I approached him slowly. The look on his face almost made me want to die a second time. I wondered whether I should sit down or not, but in the end I opted to stand.

"Riley, I…"

"Oh, this should be good. Is this the part where you try to talk your way out of it? Try to explain how it's not your fault. Who are you going to blame, hmmm?"

His words were vicious and cut me to the quick, but it was no less than I deserved.

Hunching into myself, I took a breath and tried to force the words I'd practiced out.

"I have no excuse. I hate myself for what I've done. I hate myself for hurting you."

Riley laughed. "Well, I have to give you credit. At least you accept that it was you all along, and that someone wasn't forcing you to do it."

Confused, I stammered, "What? Demetri said I forced him?"

Riley gave me a disgusted look. "Demetri said Chelsea was making him do it. By the way you're reacting, I can only guess that the whole puppet story was a pile of crap. Why? Why the hell would you do that. You, of all people. I _trusted _you." Riley took a sharp intake of breath as his wounded eyes bored through me.

"I know. Victoria—"

Riley's face twisted and his voice raised. "_You are worse than Victoria _ever _was_." He caught himself and then spoke in a more reasonable tone, but I could hear the barely repressed rage escaping between gritted teeth. "I told you how she made me feel, and you _still_ did this."

I stepped back at the force of his anger. I'd only heard him this way once before, and that was the roar I'd heard in the corridor when he'd found out what Demetri and I had done.

"I don't know what to say. I can't defend what I did—it was wrong, I regret it, and I deserve however you feel about me. Sometimes, I just really couldn't help myself."

Riley's raw eyes looked deep into mine. "You say that like you don't have a choice in whether you fuck someone or you don't. You _always_ have a choice. You _chose_ to sleep with _him_."

Speak of the devil, and he would appear. Demetri had obviously either followed my scent, or had realized when Riley disappeared under my shield.

"Welcome back, Bella. I do hope you and Chelsea enjoyed your conveniently timed trip."

Riley immediately sneered in his direction. It took me a little longer to turn around and face him.

"Well, isn't this a lovely little reunion." Riley's voice dripped with sarcasm. "Demetri, Bella here says that this was all of her own doing. She didn't mention a word about Chelsea. Did you, Bella?"

Demetri turned his attention to Riley. "Then she's wrong, and obviously oblivious as to what was going on."

Riley rolled his eyes. "You don't give up, do you? She's just blown your story out of the water and proved it to be the lie I knew it was."

"It is the truth." For the first time, I saw a hint of emotion other than jealousy or lust in Demetri's eyes. He was hurting, too. I guessed that he did have genuine feelings for Riley, and that confused me even more. If he felt that strongly, then why had he been doing what he had with me? It didn't make sense.

Demetri looked back at me. "You think this was your own doing, Bella, but didn't you ever think about how you'd suddenly be overtaken by irresistible lust from nothing? How things only ever happened when we'd both seen Chelsea that day?"

"I never noticed." I mumbled as I chewed on my lip. The venom stung, and matched the burn in my rib cage.

"Every time I meet someone or have a relationship, she does this to me. She doesn't want to see me find someone or be happy. She does her best to always keep me under her control. She likes to keep me for herself."

"But she's married to Afton."

Demetri scoffed.

"So, you're telling me that Chelsea made you have sex with Bella so she can keep you for herself? Your logic seems a little backward."

I took a second to process what was being said.

"She told me you'd slept together, but…she's my friend. She just wouldn't."

Riley made a noise in his throat. "Your friend. Does that mean you're fucking Afton, too? I wouldn't put it past you. I'll never believe a word either of you say ever again."

Demetri shifted, and then looked at me accusingly. "Well, now you're _back_, Bella, we can go and ask her to her face. Riley, shall we?"

Riley sniffed. "I wouldn't miss this for the world." As he walked past me, he glared, and part of me crumbled inside.

Knowing where Chelsea was using his mental radar, we followed Demetri, and I tagged along behind. My motionless heart was breaking inside my chest as I watched Riley walking through the corridors. I could sense the tenseness in his shoulders, and saw the tight grip of his fists.

I had done this. I had caused this. It killed me to see the results of my actions.

Never before had I hated myself so much for stupidly leading myself into a situation where I hurt those I loved. Now that I'd thrown it away, it became clear to me exactly how much value I placed on Riley's friendship.

We turned the corridor and headed toward Chelsea's room. I could already hear Afton's voice and soft giggling.

Demetri made a signal to be quiet. Riley complied, and I did to the best of my abilities. Once we were huddled on the threshold, Demetri threw the door open and we stepped inside. I felt Afton and Chelsea's presence pass through the skin of my shield.

My friend sat up with a look of shock, and Afton took on a defensive position in front of her as Demetri walked forward.

"Tell him. Tell Riley what you did to me." Demetri snarled.

"I have absolutely no idea what you mean," Chelsea replied indignantly. "Now, get out of my room!"

Demetri got closer to Afton. "Not this time, Chelsea. I have had enough of being used for your entertainment while your husband is away." He looked Afton in the eye and addressed him. "I don't think for a second that you don't know what she's like."

"My wife has no idea what you're talking about. Now, go." Demetri hissed as Afton squared up to him.

"Not this time. This time was too far. She _will _tell both Riley and Bella exactly what she's done—over your dead body, if necessary."

Demetri reached out for Afton's neck, but he ducked and swiped back. Demetri leaped forward, knocking his opponent off his feet, but Afton twisted his body and sent his attacker into the wall.

Chelsea climbed off the bed and tried to come to her husband's rescue, but Riley caught her shoulder and held her back. As I watched the action in disbelief, I saw Riley's face melt into a smile and he immediately released Chelsea.

She stepped toward Demetri as he continued to exchange blows with Afton.

"No." Rushing across the room, I put myself between them. "What is going on? What did you just do to Riley?"

Chelsea's face changed to one of annoyance. "Get out of the way, Bella. I don't have time for this."

"I won't. Not until you tell me what's going on."

At that point, I was knocked out of the way as Demetri and Afton crashed past me and into the bed, which promptly collapsed. Chelsea made a move again, but I blocked her, only for Riley to push me out of the way.

The distinctive screech of a vampire head being sheared from its body caught all of our attention.

We turned to find Demetri, his knee on Afton's back, and Afton's head in his hands. The noise that Chelsea made in response was bloodcurdling.

Riley and I stared open mouthed as Chelsea tried to force her way through us to her decapitated spouse. The same electricity within my shield that licked over the three other remaining sentient vampires in the room, told me that Afton was now an inanimate object.

As Demetri dropped the head to the bed and got to his feet, I thought of Edward, and my heart lurched for Chelsea. Chelsea loved Afton, this I was sure of.

Then I thought about how Riley had reacted to her, and wondered whether there might be some truth in Demetri's story.

She dropped to her knees on the creaking, collapsed bed and dry sobbed, picking up Afton's head with one hand, and cradling his body to hers with the other.

Quietly, Demetri spoke. "Tell them what you did."

With a venomous look, Chelsea hissed at Demetri. "Never."

It was then that I was hit with a wave of lust unlike anything I had ever experienced in my entire life. It kept coming, washing over me, and almost knocking me off my feet with its intensity.

I gripped a bedpost to keep me steady, and the strength of my grip tore it from the base.

Suddenly, Riley was on me, his hands on my shoulders and his body pressed close up behind me. Milliseconds later, a force hit me from the front and a mouth met mine forcefully, before it meandered along my jaw to find my friend's.

Hands wandered about my body, and I was unsure whether they were Riley's, Demetri's, or my own. My clothes vanished in seconds, and I wasn't the only one who had miraculously become naked.

I was blinded by need, and I didn't care who it was that I was touching or who was touching me, so long as I felt skin against skin. I kissed, licked, and touched anything that was close enough, as I found myself in the midst of a tangle of limbs and hard, male bodies.

Every remaining shred of humanity I had was gone. I wasn't even an animal. Right then, I'd been stripped away to my very basest level and I was a creature. A thing.

Time fell away, as I found myself impaled in or tangled amongst various sexual positions. Nothing existed outside that small circle of bodies and debris on the floor, until there was another presence in the room.

I hissed in its direction as a warning not to disturb. Then a slow prickling coldness began building in my chest, putting out the aching fire that had been consuming me. The bodies around me also stilled and gradually, sobering awareness came to me.

I looked down at Riley between my thighs, whose eyes I was sure mirrored my own shock. Demetri, who had been pressed up close behind me, pulled away and shuffled back until he was against the wall.

Ashamed, I looked up at Raveena in the doorway, pulling a blanket off the bed in a vain attempt to cover my modesty as I climbed off the vampire beneath me.

Awkward did not even begin to describe the atmosphere as we all realized what had happened. I looked around for clothes, but found nothing but scraps of fabric.

Chelsea was gone, with Afton's head and body.

"What happened?" Raveena asked in her usual dispassionate tone.

Riley, Demetri, and I looked between one another. Demetri was the only one that could find the words.

"Do you believe me now?" he croaked, staring at Riley.

Riley ran his fingers through his hair, and stared down at his feet. "I…uh…" He seemed shell shocked at what we'd just done. He then buried his face in his palms.

"That was not of our own doing. _She_ did that to us." Demetri confirmed. I already knew he was being truthful. The wave had come from nowhere, and I would never, ever have behaved that way under my own free will.

I pulled the blanket around myself tighter, feeling exposed and violated. I chewed my lip and felt the prickle burn a little stronger.

"If I leave you alone and go find you all something to wear, can I trust you not to start again?" Raveena asked in her usual calm, even tone.

I nodded, and concentrated on my toes for a while, not wanting to make eye contact with either of the naked male vampires in the room. In my peripheral vision, I could see that they were equally as uncomfortable.

Raveena soon returned, giving us each a bundle of our own clothing, and the three of us quickly redressed. I'd never felt more self-conscious in my entire existence, and even once I was covered, I felt over-exposed.

I wondered if I would ever be able to look at Demetri or Riley in the face again.

The room was a scene of devastation, and not all of it had been caused by the fight.

Raveena broke the silence. "Why were you doing that in Chelsea's room? Where is Chelsea?"

Demetri took a few seconds and answered.

"She's in the throne room. With Aro, Caius, and Marcus. I suggest we go join her immediately before she puts across her story uncontested."


	7. Chapter 7 Hot and Cold

**CHAPTER SEVEN – HOT AND COLD**

**I do not own Twilight, no copyright infringement intended.**

**Violence and lots of sordid tales come to light.**

~X~

Demetri pushed open the doors of the throne room, and Riley and I were close behind him. There was already a crowd gathered waiting for us. As soon as I laid eyes on Chelsea, my first instinct was to shield myself and the two male vampires I entered with to prevent her manipulating us once more.

I'd thought she was my friend, but I could not see how that was possible given what she'd done to me. The look on Chelsea's face as she stared back was one of hatred. Afton's body lay on the floor before her as if she had been presenting the damage to the Masters, who also turned their attention toward us.

Demetri was livid. I did not have to be empathic to feel the seething rage coming from him. Riley remained by silent by me, his expression unreadable.

Caius scowled in our direction, and Marcus regarded us with something approaching interest. Raveena, the twins, and Renata were in attendance behind the three thrones, and Felix was stood in the corner of the room.

Aro got to his feet. "It seems you have some explaining to do, my children." He looked down at the decapitated vampire on the floor.

"Unwarranted acts of violence amongst the Guard are a serious matter and should be dealt with accordingly," Caius hissed. It seemed he had already found us guilty.

Aro held up his hand. "It's only fair that I should give everyone involved their chance to put across their side of the story."

His gaze rested on me as he walked in our direction. When he passed through the skin of my shield, I automatically put my hand in his.

Closing his eyes, Aro listened in on my thoughts, and I felt shame as I realized exactly what he would see in recent history. Finally, he let go, and then made his way across the room to Chelsea, who also silently gave her side of events.

Once he was done, Aro slowly walked up the steps towards the thrones, touching Marcus briefly before sitting down and looking thoughtful.

"You put me in a very difficult position indeed. The situation is most unsavory, and it is hard to see a satisfactory outcome. Chelsea, of course, has suffered enough, and Afton will be reanimated immediately. As for the rest of you…" Aro trailed off, but the silence spoke volumes.

"_That's not fair."_ I was surprised that my thoughts had become spoken words. When everyone's attention snapped to me, I spoke again, but in a quiet voice. "I can't see how Chelsea should get away so lightly after destroying people's friendships and relationships for fun. She made us do…_that _against our will."

Aro's brow furrowed, but it was Chelsea that broke the resulting silence.

"Against your will?" Chelsea rolled her eyes. "Please. You've been telling me how much you've wanted to bed them both for years. I was just giving you a helping hand."

My mouth opened, but in my disbelief, words wouldn't form; instead, I made a noise that sounded rather like choking while she continued.

"And I think you'll find that neither of them was too adverse to the idea of sleeping with you, either. I really don't see what the problem is."

Riley quickly looked at me, and then away. I felt the emptiness in my chest expand as I realized he was probably thinking about what Demetri and I had been doing. My chain of thought brought me back to my supposed friend, who had artificially encouraged us along.

"The problem _is_ that you treat us like toys. You're like a puppeteer, enjoying making us dance for your amusement. I refuse to be played with any longer, Chelsea." Demetri's voice was low and calm, but there was menace behind it.

"_Don't you dare threaten me_." Chelsea's voice was vicious. "Or you will face the consequences. I am untouchable."

"Enough. It won't do to have disagreements amongst the Guard like this."

Aro finally intervened and silenced the room. Marcus looked on dispassionately, while Caius was perched on the edge of his chair, looking more furious than ever.

I did not miss the softening of their faces as they looked at Chelsea.

"Chelsea, dearest. Your talent is so very valuable to us, and the Volturi could not exist without you. Therefore, Afton _will_ be reanimated and no further punishment given—just, please, try to be a little more careful with how you play."

His smile dropped as he turned his attention back to Demetri, Riley, and me.

"As for the rest…" Aro sighed. "Demetri, at the present, you are the world's greatest tracker, but you are by no means the only one of your kind. Yours is a very common talent—do not think that you are irreplaceable. I leave your punishment to Caius."

Caius gave a rare smile at this comment.

"Bella…you are very young and naïve, and for this, I will give you the benefit of the doubt. Remember where you are and how privileged you are to serve here, otherwise next time, I will not be so lenient."

My jaw dropped open, unsure at how being the victim of manipulation could result in our being disciplined.

"As for Demetri's companion, it seems to me that you are the root cause of this problem. You have no talent and have outlived your usefulness. It is no longer appropriate for you to remain here, and you will be executed—"

"No!" My voice echoed off the marble walls. I attached myself to Riley's side. "I won't let you harm him. Can't you see? She's manipulating you all and turning you against us."

"Bella, I have already warned you that there is a limit to my tolerance of your impudent behavior. I suggest you step aside and allow us to deal with the matter."

"No." My eyes flicked around the room nervously. Chelsea was undoubtedly breaking all the emotional bonds that our fellow Volturi felt for us, and it was just the three of us inside my bubble against nine others. The odds were not in our favor.

Aro sighed again. "No doubt your shield will be blocking the twins. Felix, apprehend Riley."

The giant vampire began to make his way across the room toward us, but Demetri moved into a defensive position before our mutual friend and lover.

"Felix, you've been my friend for many centuries. Don't let her do this again."

"Those who disobey the Masters must be punished for their actions." Felix's deep voice boomed in reply, and he didn't look dissuaded in the slightest. Behind him, Chelsea beamed as she enjoyed the show.

How far would she take this? Would she let Felix and Demetri, after being close friends and comrades for centuries, tear each other apart? After earlier events, I knew that she was capable of anything.

"Chelsea, why are you doing this?"

"Why am I doing this?" She sneered. "Because I can. Don't you see? This whole place revolves around _me_."

I looked at Aro for a reaction, but he just smiled and looked at Chelsea.

"Without me, the Volturi would tear itself apart. Most of you can't even stand the sight of one another, let alone co-exist in harmony. I keep you all united; I get to choose who is together and who isn't. I'm the real power around here, and don't you forget it."

Looking at those outside the protection of my shield, it baffled me that not one of them felt the same disgust. They adoringly hung on every word Chelsea said, as if it were gospel.

I would never allow her inside my circle ever again, now that I'd seen what she was capable of. Other than Riley, she had been my closest friend and confidante, seeing deeper, darker sides of me than I had been able to show my best friend, since I was betraying him under her influence.

Everything that I had thought about her had been false. She'd artificially tied me to her, and though part of me had known, I hadn't seen how truly blind I'd been to the real person behind the friendly smiles and gestures until now.

"You're nothing, Chelsea. You've got nothing. Everything you have is a lie."

"And what do you have, Bella? What gives you the right to judge me? If I have nothing, you have less than nothing. Once Riley dies, you will need me to help you find a new best friend, or whatever."

"With your idea of friends, Chelsea. I'd prefer not to bother."

Chelsea scoffed, then Felix lurched forward—Demetri moved to meet him, before slamming backwards against a marble pillar and cracking it. Riley immediately went to his aid, but before he could get near, he screamed and froze as he stepped beyond my protection.

Jane. I flung out my shield to cover Riley once more, and he exhaled in relief as he collapsed on the floor.

Alec made a move in my direction and I wondered whether I would fare better against him in hand-to-hand combat than I had his twin. I braced myself for the attack, but then a loud voice rang out.

It wasn't the one that I was expecting.

"Stop."

Raveena stepped forward, and I felt a prickling in my chest, spreading outwards, down my limbs, and bringing a wash of calmness as it flowed over my brain. My entire body felt numbed, and it took all the strength I had to remain standing.

The fear, the anticipation, the anger, and every other feeling melted away. If you'd asked me what I thought of Demetri, or Riley, or Chelsea in that moment, the only answer I could have given was that I didn't care. Looking at everyone else's face, I could see the same lethargy in their eyes.

Raveena looked around the room, her face as straight and emotionless as usual.

"This situation is getting out of hand, and no one is looking at things objectively."

The rest of us just stared back blankly.

"Chelsea, why are you turning everyone against Demetri, Bella, and Riley?"

Chelsea only seemed half-awake, and her voice was thick as she forced out her reply. "They removed Afton's head."

"And why did they do that?"

"Because they were angry at what I made Demetri and Bella do." Without emotions motivating her to lie, the numbness was like a truth serum, and Chelsea seemed unable to resist answering whatever question Raveena asked.

Raveena was the only one whose body hadn't fallen to sleep, and if I cared, I might have found it intimidating to be in such a vulnerable position. She took another step toward Chelsea.

"And why did you do that?"

"Because I can, and I enjoy the power."

Raveena then turned to Felix and Demetri—who had their hands at each other's throats, but increasingly looking like the grip was more one of support than of combat.

"Demetri, what is the nature of your complaint against Chelsea?"

"She has destroyed every relationship I have ever had. Before, when I've went to confront her, she's always managed to distract me with lust. Not this time. I refuse to lose Riley."

Languidly turning my head in Demetri's direction, I took in his words, knowing that they would sting later.

Felix cleared his throat. "She manipulates me into servicing her needs on a regular basis. And also made me overwhelmingly attracted to Gianna before she was due to be turned, hence her unplanned death."

"She makes me so attached to Aro that there is no room for any other focus in my life. She's the reason I've been on my own for centuries," Renata chimed in.

"I am so blindly loyal to the Volturi that I dare not defy Aro's orders." Caius spoke without his usual venom, as he slumped in his chair. "And my wife…I feel so painfully protective that I will not see her leave her room. It pains me to see her so imprisoned, but it is as if I do not have any free will."

Aro was next, saying that he had seen how Chelsea worked, but that she had him so tightly bound to her that he could never question her actions. As we all spoke calmly, the prickle continued in our chest, numbing our feelings and reactions, allowing us to freely say what was on our mind without fear or embarrassment.

Chelsea looked around at everyone in turn; if she was affecting the bonds between each of us, then it wasn't apparent beyond the effects of Raveena's talent.

Finally, Raveena turned to Jane and asked for her story. Jane said nothing—Alec had already elaborated enough. It seemed, by Chelsea's reaction, that the numbness hadn't dulled Jane's capacity to cause pain, though she didn't seem to enjoy it as much as usual.

My manipulative, blonde former friend writhed on the floor in agony.

Aro looked thoughtful. "For all that has come to light today, what Chelsea says is true. Without her abilities, we would fall apart."

"So how do we proceed?" Caius asked. "Things cannot continue on as they are."

Marcus shifted in his chair. With Raveena in constant attendance, I now understood why he barely had the energy to speak. "Behind Chelsea's bonds, there are still other ties that might hold us together—friendship, affection, and familiarity. We are unaccustomed to creating our own bonds without the quick fix her talent gives us, but given time, maybe it will be enough?"

A moment of silence fell across the room as we considered all that had been said. It seemed that there was no one that had not felt Chelsea's powers, and some to worse ends than others.

"I can only see one course of action," Caius almost whispered. "Chelsea is a liability, and with her interference, it seems just as likely that she will tear us apart as keep us together."

"Yes. You are right, Caius," Aro agreed. He folded his hands beneath his chin in an effort to keep his head from lolling to the side. "Chelsea, you must face the consequences of your actions. It is inadvisable to destroy you until we know how we will fare without your talent, therefore, you will suffer the same fate as your mate and remain headless until such a time as we feel appropriate to remedy that matter."

Raveena had Chelsea so numbed that she barely seemed to react to the news.

"Felix…"

The Volturi enforcer let go of Demetri's neck and slowly made his way across the room to where Chelsea stood, staring back with confused but open and aware eyes. It seemed almost painful for strong Felix to lift his arms high enough, but once his palms reached her temples, I allowed my eyelids to fall. Only the sound of crystal being torn apart told me that the task was complete, and I could look once more.

As Felix and Demetri gathered up Afton and Chelsea and took their bodies from the room to be stored, the pins and needles in my chest began to fade, and I was more able to move my limbs.

"Thank you, Raveena, for calming the situation." Aro inclined his head in her direction. "Now, my brothers and I have much to discuss, so you are all dismissed. I do not doubt that you have much you wish to talk about amongst yourselves, and may want to find somewhere to rest after such a concentrated dose of Raveena's anesthetic. Good day."

We all left, slightly groggy and disorientated. I forced heavy feet down the corridor to my room, pausing as I saw the door to Chelsea and Afton's room open. Even from the hallway it was obvious that the room was still a scene of devastation.

I didn't know why, but I felt the urge to remove the evidence of what taken place.

At first, as I entered, I was overtaken by a number of flashbacks that both aroused and disgusted me; mental pictures of a Bella I did not recognize doing things that I would never have thought her capable of assaulted me.

The bed was beyond repair, so I removed it from the room. Then I began removing the debris from the floor—tattered pieces of cloth that I could recognize as my underwear, Demetri's slacks, Riley's tee…

What a mess the situation had turned into. Somehow, Chelsea's fate did not make me feel any better. If anything, it made me feel worse. My unique ability to turn anything into a tragedy had come into play again. Maybe some people were just fated to be trouble for everyone around them?

Once I'd finished, not wanting to be alone, I headed to the common room. Raveena occupied her usual space, and I tried not to look over at the couch where Chelsea usually lounged, or the table where I used to sit with Riley and Demetri.

"Hey." I greeted Raveena, and took a seat nearby.

"Hello, Bella."

I felt the familiar tingling sensation begin.

"Raveena, you don't need to," I said, shaking my head. Right then, I felt like I wanted to make sense of what I was feeling—I needed my pain, hurt, and embarrassment in order to do that.

Raveena smiled; I tried to remember the last time I'd seen her do that, if ever.

"The Volturi relies on artificial sources all too often. By learning to cope on your own, you will grow stronger. We will _all _grow stronger because of this."

I nodded. "But what comes next? What if Chelsea was right and we're all at one another's throats?"

Raveena's mouth twitched. "It's true that Chelsea could create and remove bonds, but isn't that something we are all capable of simply by interacting with others? Is it so unbelievable that after centuries together, we might find a common purpose and create friends and allies on that basis?"

Friends. The holes in my chest ached as I thought of Riley and Chelsea, and every other friend that I had lost—Alice, Jacob, Edward…

Raveena looked on with almost concern.

"I'm okay," I croaked.

"I think we all will be. It won't be easy, but I think that Chelsea underestimated us all. She got so used to forcing bonds that she forgot they could be made without her."

"You mean, she believed her own hype?"

"Yes."

After that, we fell into comfortable silence. I didn't know how long we sat like that before I heard footsteps in the corridor.

A few seconds later, Riley appeared. I tried to compose myself as I wondered how to react. He also seemed awkward.

Without speaking, Raveena got to her feet and left the room.

My once best friend tentatively stepped through the doorway and made his way over the table, opting to sit on the edge of it rather than pull up a chair as he normally would. The silence continued, albeit far less comfortable.

"Riley, I'm…"

"I know." Riley kicked at something imaginary on the floor. "I waited for you in your room. In the end, I thought you might be with Demetri."

My still heart plunged. "No, I cleaned up Chelsea's room, and then I came here to sit with Raveena." I took a deep breath. "Why were you waiting for me?"

Riley swallowed. "I think we need to talk."

"Yeah."

Ridiculously, that stopped the conversation dead for a while.

"What Demetri said about Chelsea, I think it's true." I looked into my friends eyes, hoping that he'd believe me.

"After what she did to us in the room, I think so, too. I guess I owe you both an apology."

"Not half as much as we should be apologizing to you. I would never have…acted that way with Demetri on my own, I promise."

"I know that now." It killed me to see Riley in so much pain; it was in his eyes and his voice, even the way he hunched himself as he spoke. "There was no stopping. No choice in the matter…but, for a while there after I found out, it was like Victoria all over again. I thought I could trust you with everything and that you'd always have my back—then it was like I didn't know you at all. How do I forget that?"

"I don't know." I fiddled with the cuff of my shirt. "How do I ever forget what I did to you? I'll never forgive myself. Ever."

"But it wasn't your fault. You were only doing what she made you do."

"It didn't feel like that at the time."

I chewed my lip, and then winced as I broke skin.

Riley gave a little laugh. "Why do you always do that? Venom stings like a bitch."

"Yeah, tell me about it. Just habit, I guess. It's just something I do."

"I know, Bella. You'd think you'd learn after the first time not to do it."

I tucked my hair behind my ear, and as we smiled at each other for the first time since Demetri had found him in my room, somehow, I knew we'd be all right.

Our conversation was interrupted when Jane stormed in.

"Everyone is wanted in the throne room. Immediately." She didn't stop to exchange pleasantries.

Riley and I fell into line behind her, before we joined almost all of the other guards gathered before Aro, Caius, and Marcus. I wondered who was on sentry, and why we were all here at the same time?

Corin and Santiago were the last to arrive, and then Aro began.

"Thank you, my friends, for joining me so quickly. I hope you would all do me the honor of letting me read you."

Expressing his gratitude to everyone in turn, he moved amongst us all, taking our hands, listening, and then letting us go.

Finally, he climbed the steps and returned to his chair.

"I see. You may all go."

Puzzled, we bowed and exited. This time, Riley and I headed to my room, taking our time-honored positions on the bed.

"What was all that about?"

Riley replied, "I have no idea. He probably wanted to make sure we weren't about to mutiny now that Chelsea is out of the picture."

We continued to speculate, and for a while it felt like nothing had changed. Afterwards, we headed back to the common room, chatting like friends should, only to find Demetri sitting there on his own.

Suddenly, the light atmosphere was broken, as I tried to ascertain his mood.

Demetri looked between the two of us, and I dreaded the predictable jealous reaction, which never came. His mood was obviously dark, and it took a while before he was able to speak.

"So, I see your alibi is airtight." His voice was bitter and accusing.

"What do you mean?" Riley sat down on the opposite side of the table as I milled around awkwardly.

"If you don't know, then that goes in your favor, too."

"Demetri, we have no idea what you're talking about." I joined in apprehensively, wary of Demetri's obvious agitation. "We've been talking in my room since we last saw you in the throne room, and earlier I cleaned up the mess we left, and then I saw Raveena. What did we miss?"

"Chelsea and Afton's bodies have gone missing. The incinerator has been fired up, so one would assume that she's gone for good."

"Wait, someone burned Chelsea and Afton? They're dead?"

"They were already dead, Bella. But, yes, it would seem that it's much more permanent now."

Riley and I look at each other in shock.

"Who was it?" Riley asked.

"I would say only the person or persons involved know that, along with Aro, of course."

"That explains why we were all called before him. It wasn't you, Dem, was it?"

"Of course not," Demetri replied quickly. "Without Chelsea, then I doubt there is any hope that…" He trailed off and decided not to finish the sentence.

I quickly changed the subject. "Well, Raveena was here with me for a while."

"I was waiting in Bella's room, until I found her in here."

My brow furrowed as I wondered who it was. "I guess it has to be said that almost everyone had a motive." I take a moment to analyze how I feel about the fact that Chelsea is truly gone. I am going to miss her—or at least, the "her" I thought she was. The bonds she'd created hadn't miraculously disappeared like her body had.

"Maybe one day, we'll find out what happened." Demetri looked from me to Riley. "Should I assume by the fact that you're the best of chums again that Riley believes me now?"

"Yes," Riley said, but looked down at his hands, his brow furrowed. I would have paid a million Euros for his thoughts at that moment in time. Looking at Demetri, it seemed I wasn't the only one.

Where did this leave us now? What would happen next?

I guessed that the only way to answer that question, was to see how things played out.

I chewed my lip again and winced. Riley snorted quietly, and then went back to his thoughts.

What wouldn't I give to have a psychic around right about now?

~X~

**That's the final full chapter—just an Epilogue to go, and then that's Paresthesia **_**finito**_**!**


	8. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

**I do not own Twilight, no copyright infringement intended.**

**Comprehensive thank-yous at the end.**

76 years later

Things were confusing, and for quite a while some of us found ourselves torn between missing Chelsea, and wondering if anything we felt for anyone was real or not.

Her effects were more deeply ingrained than we'd thought, and they didn't die with her. For those who had been with the Volturi the longest, it took around fifty years until they could genuinely say that the artificial bonds had completely faded away.

I knew I was cured when I finally lost the urge to climb on top of Demetri.

We did not collapse with infighting as she'd predicted, rather things were discussed—sometimes heatedly—rather than fixed artificially. Caius disagreed with Aro more often, as did Marcus on the rare occasion, but ultimately, their aim was the same and that encouraged the three to find a mutually satisfactory solution.

There was the occasional disagreement amongst the guard members, but even the most intense of fights could be stopped with a heavy dose of Raveena.

Raveena now occupied a much more powerful position in the guard, and she became prominent around the castle rather than being constantly hidden away babysitting Marcus. Down the years she had, in her own way, developed feelings for him. After giving him respite from her talent, partly through being busier around the castle, partly through being less paranoid about what Chelsea might do, it turned out that Marcus felt something for her, too.

For all it wasn't quite a relationship the way I understood it, it was nice to see that they'd both found companionship, and had learned to smile a little more.

Once they'd gotten married, Raveena had become one of the wives. It hadn't changed her much—well, no more than the effects of finally being with Marcus in the first place. She still socialized with us—I was even her maid of honor. Marcus was unrecognisable from the being he'd been previously. Seeing him smiling serenely wasn't something I had easily gotten used to.

It was an adjustment to see the other wives around the castle, too, now that Aro and Caius didn't keep them squirreled away. Waifish and almost ethereal creatures, Sulpicia and Athenodora looked as if they barely existed on this planet. They looked more like ghosts than vampires after being holed up with Corin day after day, year after year, century after century. If Raveena was the resident novocaine, then Corin was the psychotropic drug.

Having Corin circulating amongst the rest of us certainly lifted everyone's spirits-Felix in particular. It seems he'd always liked her, but with her role keeping the wives artificially content and Chelsea keeping him convenient for her, they'd never had the chance.

That was the second Volturi wedding that I'd had an invite to, though this time just as a guest. The argument over who got to take Riley as their plus one wasn't easy—in the end I'd won due to Demetri taking on best man duties.

Demetri had the most difficulty dealing with Chelsea's absence out of all of us—mainly due to the effects she'd had on his partner. After the lust and romantic feelings Riley had been inspired with faded away, and after much soul-searching and confusion, Riley eventually decided he was straight. Completely straight.

Demetri didn't handle that well. His feelings were genuine, as it seemed it had been for everyone he'd almost hooked up with in the past. Chelsea had done a thorough job of making sure no one managed to stay too close; I never did understand why. Probably for the same reason she kept the wives locked away, and Felix and apparently Santiago to herself, too. She wanted it all and then some. Or maybe she just liked to play?

Demetri constantly listened for her consciousness, in case she hadn't burned, but so far, she'd not reappeared on his radar. By now, we'd assumed that she no longer existed.

I didn't doubt that Aro knew who'd done it, but he'd never said anything to the rest of us. My money was on Jane—she was still very much the favorite and I was sure, one of the few who would get away without feeling the consequences. Riley put his money on Alec, and Demetri opted for Caius. Eric suspected Raveena—he didn't quite "get" her the way the rest of us did, and I guessed that, on the outside, it seemed that she'd gained the most.

Sometime after Demetri and Riley had ended, and we were having difficulties with the three of us being just friends, Eric had shown up. He was a half-Swedish, half-Lebanese psychic. He had presented himself at one of the side entrances and asked to be shown in, and delighted Aro when he'd said that he was here to have a long and happy career with the Volturi.

He also said that he'd find the love of his life here—so far, that seemed to be true.

I was pleased to say that the sight of Demetri pawing Eric instead of Riley made me a lot more comfortable. Eric was sassy, exceptionally well dressed, and perfect for Demetri. Demetri in requited love was a wonderful sight to see, and I was happy for him—really.

Once he found someone, he was a lot easier to be around. I even counted him as a friend now, and we never, ever got horizontal—or vertical for that matter—ever again. For all I felt the occasional twinge when he and Riley spent time together, I didn't worry too much.

There would be nothing going on behind his psychic lover's back.

In the past, I'd hated him, but now I had a certain amount of admiration for Demetri. If it wasn't for him confronting Chelsea, who knows where we'd be now? I'd certainly not be standing in front of a mirror like I was.

Raveena stepped up behind me and put the veil on my head as I looked down at my dress and wrinkled up my nose.

"Well, I guess it's more appropriate than white."

"White dresses are only a recent tradition, and this suits you better." Raveena's voice was calm and emotionless—she was an ideal person to have with you to calm pre-wedding nerves.

I looked down at my floor length, long-sleeved, tight fitting black dress, slashed to the thigh. It looked awesome, but I definitely wasn't your regular blushing bride. I'd never pictured myself getting married, but it wasn't as if people were going to think that I got knocked up anymore. I might only look eighteen or nineteen, but the fact was that I was almost one-hundred and fifty-two years old. If I wasn't old enough now, then I never would be.

And I was marrying for the right reasons, too. He was my best friend and being with him was as easy as breathing—though I needed him more than my vampire lungs needed air.

The fact that the sex was _hot_ had very little to do with matters—okay, well maybe just a little.

I smirked to myself, remembering what I was wearing underneath my atypical wedding dress. Riley and I'd not done it for a week, and by now, I was definitely counting down for the honeymoon.

There was a knock at the door, and Aro asked if we were decent. I didn't know why he'd be bothered, seeing as when he read our minds, he'd see everything that our eyes had anyway.

"Yes," both Raveena and I replied.

"Bella, you look simply wonderful," Aro cried as he walked inside and took my hands in his, falling silent as he read my thoughts. After he was satisfied, he made his way over to Raveena, who bowed her head respectfully.

"Ah, Raveena, also stunning. Are we ready, my dears?" He held his arm out to me and I took it. Raveena remembered to hand me my flowers—white lilies and red roses, which I thought were pretty apt. As I descended, I saw Eric waiting at the bottom of the stairs.

From the second Riley and I had walked into the common room to announce our engagement, Eric had squealed and started planning his outfit immediately. Part of me wondered whether he'd really foreseen being my second bridesmaid, or whether I'd just gone with his insistence that it was going to happen. He looked as perfectly groomed as always—fashionable in his modern hooded silk shirt under his designer suit.

Modern fashion baffled me—I stuck to what I knew or what I could figure out how to wear in the stores. I was much more comfortable getting to grips with modern music and literature, though I had lamented the downfall of actual books. I missed the smell, and the ritual of turning the pages. Somehow, touching a screen didn't feel as personal.

The music started up as we got into position. Looking at myself and Aro in black, and Raveena and Eric in deep red, I hoped that we didn't look like we were off to a funeral, but I guessed that all the guests _were_ technically dead, and the color scheme was more designed for the reception later. Blood didn't show up so much on red and black.

Raveena walked down first—calm as usual. Eric sashayed his way, pausing for just a second at the front—he must have been a catwalk model in a previous life. Then it was Aro and myself; I swallowed hard and put my least clumsy foot forward.

Though I was aware of the familiar faces in front of me, I concentrated on the bodies standing at the end of the aisle. Marcus was officiating, and he stood there motionless and half-smiling.

The two men, Riley and his best man—Demetri, grinned at me. If I could blush, I'd be beet-red by now. I felt so uncomfortable with everyone's eyes on me that I almost wished this part would be over and done with so that we could join Heidi in the great hall with the refreshments.

It seemed to take an age to get to my destination, and Aro officially gave me away before taking his familiar seat at the head of the room. As Demetri stepped away, he winked.

Words became a blur as I looked up into Riley's eyes, then things got easier. If he was with me, then I could do this. I repeated what I was told to like an automaton, my focus on my husband-to-be at all times. He was perfect, and I was luckier than I had ever deserved to be.

I realized I'd made it through the ceremony when suddenly Riley's lips were on mine, and there was a resounding cheer.

If I didn't know better, I'd be sure I even saw Raveena shed a tear.

~X~

Finally, after leaving the party and changing into our travelling clothes, we walked across the airfield and up the steps to the Volturi private jet.

Our honeymoon was a world tour—apparently, there was a point in every vampire's existence when you got a touch of the wanderlust and wanted to see everything. For me and Riley, that was now.

I was going on the understanding that I would return, should it be requested. I was still very much part of the Volturi—and happy to be. Eric had gladly informed us and Aro that we would be back in Volterra for his and Demetri's wedding, and we'd stay for good. Apparently, I'd look beautiful in fuchsia. I decided to take Eric's word for it.

Settling into my seat, my hand gripped Riley's.

"I'm nervous."

"Surely you're not scared of flying?" he joked, before moving in for a kiss.

Rolling my eyes, I replied, "No. You know why I'm nervous. I've not seen them in one-hundred and thirty-three years."

"And you already know that they'll be fine with you, thanks to Eric. Relax. Enjoy the journey."

He was right. Eric had told us that we'd head for Paris first, and Alice and Jasper would be waiting for us. We'd spend a month there before we all travelled to the part of Montana where the Cullens now lived, then we would head back to Forks to trace our roots.

I wondered how Demetri managed to put up with someone completely unable to keep a secret. Eric's omnipotence did get kind of old at times, though it was a relief to know that the Cullens were still around.

His description of them reassured me that they'd all survived the battle—the only one that had perished was Edward. There was an addition to the family—someone that Riley was familiar with—a young vampire girl named Bree. Most importantly, Eric had reassured me constantly that they would be pleased to see me, with the exception of Rosalie, and that they didn't blame Riley or me for Edward's destruction.

I'd also asked whether Jake was still around, and I hadn't known quite what to think when Eric said yes, but to brace myself for seeing him as an old man. He also warned me to ring ahead and arrange to meet in neutral territory, as his house was often frequented by his grandchildren—a whole brood of male and female shape shifters. Apparently Grandma Black, or Leah as I once knew her, wouldn't take too kindly to my presence either.

Riley and I both wanted to visit our families. Both of us had no human siblings, and our lines would cease to exist with us, but I wanted to go visit Charlie's grave. He'd died of a heart attack fifteen years after my disappearance—from what I could find out via the internet, it seemed that he'd never stopped looking for me. He'd also remarried—Sue Clearwater. I hoped that he hadn't worried too much, and that he'd been happy.

Renee had divorced Phil and married twice more—the last time to a wealthy Vegas casino owner, and lived to a ripe old age. Still, she was gone, too.

As we took off, I gripped Riley's hand tighter and wondered about what might have been if things hadn't happened the way they did.

What would have happened if Edward hadn't died on the mountainside that day? Would I have been half as happy as I was with Riley now?

If things had been different, would I have continued to tear both Edward and Jacob apart? Would I have gotten my wish and been turned by the Cullens, or would I have been long in the ground by now?

I tried to picture myself in another life, but I couldn't. The whole idea was incomprehensible to me. I was more content now than I could ever remember being.

The past seemed to be defined by constant choices—Edward or Jacob, human or vampire, Demetri or Riley, go here or do that—but that was no longer the case. The real choice had always been between how people tried to convince me to be, and who I was.

I'd always been out of step, literally stumbling through my human life, and I'd never felt normal. But whoever wanted to be just normal?

I'd had to face death, loss, and pain, but that had made me stronger. After getting through everything that had happened to me, I was more real and more myself because I'd found my place in the world and where I belonged.

_This_ was the person I was always meant to be. Feeling pretty at ease with the world, I gave Riley my sappiest smile.

He smirked back and leaned in to whisper in my ear.

"Want to join the mile-high club?"

I laughed, and took him up on the offer.

~X~

THE END

~x~

THANK YOUS

Firstly, thank you to WolvesCanEatMe, my awesome prereader turned full beta. I love you in so many inappropriate ways. Above all the help you gave me on this, thanks for just being a friend.

Thank you to BforQueen and Casketformytears—my VBs at My Vamp Fiction and Twilighted for such consistently quick turnarounds. You guys are awesome!

Thank you to the Hillywood Show for creating the Twilight Eclipse Parody, and specifically, for filming the scene that inspired this whole story, (Bella/Riley/Demetri 9mins 25-28secs)which was originally planned as a three shot maximum, but somehow got out of hand.

Thank you to mycrookedsmile for mentioning me on Perv Pack's Smut Shack, and for sticking with the story.

Thank you for all my other readers and reviewers. I know this was a bit of a strange little alternative universe that I created, and not a popular one, but it made me immensely happy to write—even happier when other people enjoyed it. Keep in touch—both WayBeyond and Leanne Golightly have their own twitter accounts—WayWayBeyond and angel_eyes1_uk.

Thank you to the former Chelsea, Demetri, and Felix at FTN role playing site, whose RP personalities helped me develop my characters.

Thank you to Stephenie Meyer for writing Twilight, and to David Slade for making Eclipse my favourite Twilight film so far.

Lastly, I'd like to thank Charlie Bewley and Xavier Samuel for being so easy on the eye, and making it very easy to imagine them in compromising positions.

Just for info, I imagine characters as follows:

Chelsea – Amanda Seyfried (Letters to Juliet/Mean Girls)

Raveena – Freida Pinto (Slumdog Millionaire)

Eric – Eric Saade (Swedish popstar)


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